Abusers don’t realise the damage they cause can stay with the victims for a lifetime
under 35, too. Sometimes we come out later and don’t know how to be gay, and the person we depend on is our partner.”
Abusers often manipulate victims so they feel they’re to blame for the abuse. Barking and Dagenham Primary Care Trust’s Domestic Violence paper explains: “Sometimes same-sex abusers will try to tell their partners that ‘this is how it is in a gay relationship. They often promise to change their behaviour and the hope for that positive change can keep a victim from identifying the pattern of abuse in the relationship.”
But it’s not just victims of abuse who can find help. For eight encouraged his boyfriend to.
“The poor man’s head was pouring with blood and he needed 27 stitches,” recalls Danny. “The police were called and my boyfriend was arrested. In court, he pleaded guilty to wounding with intent and was sent to prison for ten months. I haven’t seen him since that night.
“I regret not leaving the relationship as soon as the violence started – but I was more regretful that that poor guy had to suffer because I was too naïve to have left my boyfriend or called the police the first time. Abusers don’t realise the damage they cause can stay with the victims for a lifetime.”