21st Cen­tury Boys


Can a man be a hash­tag? Petal, it’s 2016; we’re ALL a hash­tag. So what does the #in­sta­gay do? He snaps away, build­ing that brand and aim­ing for as many likes as he can be­fore bed­time, where­upon he’ll sec­onds be­fore he goes to sleep, so he can se­cure some more while he’s out for the count. Where would I

In the gym, click-click-clicking away in the mir­ror, get­ting in every­one’s way, or hov­er­ing over care­fully con­structed lunches in hip­ster cafes, tak­ing a #sneakypic. How will I recog­nise him? You’ll have seen him al­ready on In­sta­gram, of course. If you’re a beginner, keep an eye out for a pi­geon-toed guy in im­mac­u­late shoes – “a gift from Nu Shooz bou­tique in Tam­worth, thanx guys xxx” – be­ing pho­tographed by a ter­mi­nally bored pal.

Who are his friends? Any­one will­ing to take his pic­ture, peo­ple who com­ment “wooooo sexy!!!” on all his pics. Who are his en­e­mies? Ug­gos, pho­to­bombers, any­one who serves him food that’s not pho­tograph­able, peo­ple who use Would he make a good boyfriend? If you’re cool with 17,000 gays slaver­ing over your man be­cause he can’t go a day with­out tak­ing a pic­ture of him­self in the shower, then maybe.

Most likely to say: #gayp­i­cofthe­day #in­sta­gay “Can you take it again?” Least likely to say: “Let me take a pic­ture of you!” Am I an #in­sta­gay? Check the top In­sta­gram. If the snaps out­num­ber ev­ery­thing else, then yes you are! Shall we take this one again?

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