Sex with Josh Sabarra
Historically, outside of adult films, bondage as a brand of sexual kink was less than conversational. But now the mainstream has started to embrace role play and rougher sex...
Many people associate the term “bondage” with violence, domination and sadomasochism; in fact, “BDSM” is an acronym that is frequently used to blanket any related activities. It’s important to note, though, that restraining a partner – for your pleasure or his – does not necessarily go part-and-parcel with pain and humiliation. Those interested in tying up their lovers are often aroused by feeling dominant and in control, whereas the partner who’s bound typically enjoys the helplessness and vulnerability associated with his “weaker” position.
starter tips for titillating “tightrope” fun:
01. Begin simply. Before heading to the hardware store to buy some heavy-duty rope and big-boy with less intimidating items. A sleep mask can double as a blindfold, and bracelets made of cotton material can help get you or your partner used to the feeling of being restrained. Scarves, neckties and belts are other wardrobe accessories that can also stand-in for zip-ties and duct tape. Beginning the adventure with common, household products is a great way to ease into the scenario while also being kind to your wallet.
02. Communication is key. dipping your toe in the water, make sure you talk to you partner during the activity. Let him know what you’d like to do to him (or vice versa) before you move forward. Telling your lover what exactly about the situation is turning you on is also an excellent way to get orgasmic results. In addition, keeping an open dialogue can eliminate the fear associated with trying something new.
03. Have a safe word. Before the bedroom heats up, make sure that you and your playmate have a security in knowing that you have an escape plan if the proceedings get particularly intense. So, choose something that would not ordinarily be associated with any sort of sexual act or role-play. Rather than “stop” or “ouch,” ensure that your exit passcode is perhaps the name of a colour or a favourite pet.
04. Establish trust. Few people would allow you to restrain any of their body parts without complete trust. Bondage Boulevard, be certain that both of you feel safe with each other. Don’t play jokes or leave one party unattended during your session. It’s important that you allow yourself to be present and sensitive to the desires of your partner so that he’s comfortable relinquishing or taking control.
05. Don’t rush. Part of the fun and drama of engaging in bondage activity is the “tease.” If you race through your to-do list, you and your lover are less likely play scene you’ve created. Allow yourselves the time to stimulate and enjoy various areas of the body one at a time, relishing every sensation. If your level of arousal becomes “hard” to manage, take a quick break. A cooling down period can give you a rest before you continue to explore. The “stop-and-start” game can actually add to the excitement if you have a good sense of timing.
06. Know the health and safety limitations. Light pressure is rarely an issue, but anything that hugely impacts the blood supply to a particular region can result in bruises, swelling and numbness. Also, be careful not to constrict the neck area or place too much weight around the torso; you don’t want to traumatise any internal organs that are housed in that spot. It’s also wise to be mindful of your partner’s circulation. Compulsive yawning, dizziness, nausea or a sweat break-out could be indicative of a drop in blood pressure and an abnormal increase in heart rate – both of which may require professional medical attention.