The Guy­liner

With so­cial me­dia and hookup apps, gay dat­ing has changed for ever. But are we giving our­selves too hard a time on the hunt?

GT (UK) - - CONTENTS - The Guy­liner @theguy­liner

01. Hav­ing sex makes you a slut.

Says who? What’s a slut any­way? As long as you’re be­ing safe and not mess­ing with any­one’s feel­ings, just go for it. Some­times, on a date, you feel that con­nec­tion and want to ex­plore fur­ther. Why im­pose some out­dated, mean­ing­less time limit on when that can hap­pen? You’re only do­ing your­self out of a shag.

02. Gay men al­ways ex­pect date.

If only. No, se­ri­ously, gay men are more vir­tu­ous than you’d think. If you’re not into do­ing it straight­away, good guys will un­der­stand. They might think it ro­man­tic.

03. I can’t get a man be­cause hookup apps.

Are you sure that’s the rea­son why? Hon­estly. Even Geri Hal­li­well got some self­aware­ness even­tu­ally.

04. All I want to do is “meet the one”.

You may be look­ing a while. The ro­man­tic ideal that is “the one” is only go­ing to ruin your dat­ing ex­pe­ri­ence. What if he lives in China but you’re in Ching­ford? Widen your search cri­te­ria and stop pin­ing for a man you’re likely never to meet.

05. We should

Monogamy and mar­riage are just op­tions – they’re not the rule. Yes, mar­riage equal­ity has changed gay re­la­tion­ships for ever, but there are just as many gay men per­fectly happy as they were. Re­ject­ing mar­riage and/ or monogamy doesn’t mean you’re a traitor to equal­ity; it’s all about the free­dom to live as you like.

06. to meet some­one new.

Again, this might be be­cause you have a very head about what you want. Take a punt on some­one you might not nor­mally go for. If you mean you’re tired of the same old faces night af­ter night, switch to a paid app or dat­ing site – that tends to rein­vig­o­rate your op­tions.

07. Guys on apps

There are more op­tions to meet men than ever be­fore, yes, but not all men on hookup apps are look­ing for a quickie. Sure, it might mean we’re less will­ing to “give some­one a go” be­cause we know there are al­ways other men out there, but that’s al­ways been the case. There have al­ways been other, more ea­ger faces in the bar.

08. No­body will want me be­cause I’m not mas­cu­line.

#masc4­masc is a much more com­mon dat­ing re­quest than it’s ever been, true, and it can be dis­heart­en­ing if you’re more on the, erm, you should fo­cus on the guys who are at­tracted to you in­stead those who never will be. It’s their loss. more im­por­tant than pleas­ing them.

09. Older guys are creeps.

Ha! two decades of be­ing chased around bars by men who saw my ut­ter lack of in­ter­est in them as a chal­lenge, creepi­ness comes in all shapes and sizes and doesn’t kick in once you start los­ing count of your can­dles.

10. money.

Gold­dig­gers run the gamut of ages too, to be hon­est. Stop spend­ing it, daddy – the ones who re­ally like you will stick around.

11. I’m too high main­te­nance.

The ‘high main­te­nance’ trope is per­haps the sil­li­est and least at­trac­tive trait of all. Don’t cel­e­brate the fact you’re a to­tal night­mare; just stop be­ing one. Climb down from your pedestal and party among us, princess. Com­mon­ers are great.

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