You say scallops, I say scollops...
IMAY have mentioned that Mr F is a pedant but please don’t ever worry about me outing him. He takes it as a compliment. He’s getting worse with age, correcting people on the telly – ‘no’ he shouts when someone says ‘lartay’ instead of latte and please, if you’re writing to him, don’t ever get your apostrophe’s wrong (note to editor, that one was deliberate – just winding him up.
He does, of course, read this column). Since starting his Italian course many years ago he’s now even correcting me and the rest of the world on our pronunciation of bruschetta with a soft ‘shh’ instead of broo-sket-ta.
I read at the weekend that this is also the pet hate of Italian chef Giorgio Locatelli but he enjoys hearing people say ‘gee-nocchi’ instead of ‘nyoki’ as in his language it means ‘knees’. And don’t get Mr F started on panini, panino – I can’t even be bothered to remember which is the singular. Who cares as long as it tastes good? (OK, he does). Mind you, I have my own bugbears. When someone says sloth (which should be pronounced slothe) or scallop (should be scollop) it is like the sound of a fork scraping a pan. Oh and – nothing to do with pedantry, just a grump while I think of it – I get very wound up by drinkers in the many coffee bars of Uxbridge stirring their sugar as if in the throes of the fastest and noisiest washing machine spin cycle. Particularly when it goes on and on. AND ON ….
They have bars for over 21s – can I suggest coffee bars for quiet drinkers? What gets you going? Do let me know.
My grumpiness in the last couple of columns has just been dispelled by visits to Uxbridge College where I saw a dance display and a fashion show. The former was a highly skilled showcase, all choreographed by the dancers themselves; the latter a wonderful array of clothes, designed by students, made up by them, and modelled on the cat walk.
It was all very polished and professional and the models even out-Beckhamed Victoria with their flawless make-up and steely stares. Full marks to the students and their tutors. No sloths there – and I’ll even forgive them if they pronounce it wrongly.