You say scal­lops, I say scol­lops...

Harefield Gazette - - OPINION -

IMAY have men­tioned that Mr F is a pedant but please don’t ever worry about me out­ing him. He takes it as a com­pli­ment. He’s get­ting worse with age, cor­rect­ing peo­ple on the telly – ‘no’ he shouts when some­one says ‘lar­tay’ in­stead of latte and please, if you’re writ­ing to him, don’t ever get your apos­tro­phe’s wrong (note to editor, that one was de­lib­er­ate – just wind­ing him up.

He does, of course, read this col­umn). Since start­ing his Ital­ian course many years ago he’s now even cor­rect­ing me and the rest of the world on our pro­nun­ci­a­tion of bruschetta with a soft ‘shh’ in­stead of broo-sket-ta.

I read at the week­end that this is also the pet hate of Ital­ian chef Gior­gio Lo­catelli but he en­joys hear­ing peo­ple say ‘gee-noc­chi’ in­stead of ‘nyoki’ as in his lan­guage it means ‘knees’. And don’t get Mr F started on panini, panino – I can’t even be both­ered to re­mem­ber which is the sin­gu­lar. Who cares as long as it tastes good? (OK, he does). Mind you, I have my own bug­bears. When some­one says sloth (which should be pro­nounced slothe) or scal­lop (should be scol­lop) it is like the sound of a fork scrap­ing a pan. Oh and – noth­ing to do with pedantry, just a grump while I think of it – I get very wound up by drinkers in the many cof­fee bars of Uxbridge stir­ring their sugar as if in the throes of the fastest and nois­i­est wash­ing ma­chine spin cy­cle. Par­tic­u­larly when it goes on and on. AND ON ….

They have bars for over 21s – can I sug­gest cof­fee bars for quiet drinkers? What gets you go­ing? Do let me know.

My grumpi­ness in the last cou­ple of col­umns has just been dis­pelled by vis­its to Uxbridge Col­lege where I saw a dance dis­play and a fash­ion show. The for­mer was a highly skilled show­case, all chore­ographed by the dancers them­selves; the lat­ter a won­der­ful ar­ray of clothes, de­signed by stu­dents, made up by them, and mod­elled on the cat walk.

It was all very pol­ished and pro­fes­sional and the mod­els even out-Beck­hamed Vic­to­ria with their flaw­less make-up and steely stares. Full marks to the stu­dents and their tu­tors. No sloths there – and I’ll even for­give them if they pro­nounce it wrongly.

Email bmail­bar­bara@gmail.com

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