Political weaponry and very big water pistols

IT’S all getting very biblical in political circles. Cain and Abel – the Miliband brothers – are still not speaking but David, it seems, may be planning to return in 2017 to lead Labour to the Promised Land.

The moderate rank and file may decide to kill the fatted calf and let him take over then, but in the meantime will Jeremy Corbyn take them across the Red Sea?

Newly elected Lib Dem leader, devout Christian Tim Farron has been batting off journalists who have been trying to trip him up on what constitutes a sin. Abortion? Gay marriage? Eating deep fried Mars Bars?

It makes a change from jibes about student fees suffered by his predecessor I suppose.

Most intriguing is that our own MP has, as I write, been rapped over the knuckles by the Home Secretary and told that he can’t smite any Philistines with his water cannon.

Is this really, as has been suggested, more to do with jostling for position for who eventually takes over from Cameron – the frontrunners being May, Johnson and Osborne? If so, we’ve got years of it to look forward to. Oh Lordy.

Boris, I suspect will not be putting his machines on eBay just yet. I bet he’s locked the secondhand German water cannons in his garage in case he ever has to lie down in front of bulldozers to stop a third runway at Heathrow.

David and Goliath all over again? And which one would he be?

STILL looking after our daughter’s cat, we continued to worry about him escaping from the house and heading back to Wales. Inevitably he outwitted us. My ear-splitting squeals accompanied the determined streak of ginger which flew past my feet as I innocently signed for a parcel at the front door.

Many thanks to our brilliant neighbours who helped search for him, particularly a very determined Dave who found a cat, albeit not the one we had mislaid.

But a special debt of gratitude must go to the poor postman who pointed out as I ran past him into the road shrieking ‘Stop Him’ that I was in my nightclothes and just about to lock myself out of the house. Jangles did return independently and is now allowed out on parole. I just hope he’s not annoying the neighbours. That would be a bitter irony.

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