Maybe a lit­tle less than the sum of their parts

Harefield Gazette - - OPINION -

IF YOU’VE been won­der­ing what I think about ‘The Don­ald’ trumping the pres­i­dency in bizarre USA elec­tion, well I’m not too keen, but don’t tell any­one. Why? Well, as Farage seems to think he is ideal to be our am­bas­sador to Wash­ing­ton, I thought, in this present cli­mate where friends and fam­ily are given top jobs, I might be able to carve out a new ca­reer for my­self too.

Mr Farage is such an ob­vi­ous choice for our rep­re­sen­ta­tive in the USA as he’s SO diplo­matic (ha!), but I can match his Fer­rero Rocher chocs with my Jaffa cakes any day.

Surely sound­ing off in Bm@il each week qual­i­fies me to be, at least, White House Chief of Staff. How about re­plac­ing Oba­macare with O Bar­baracare (Queen of Peo­ple’s Parts).

Fail­ing that, I re­alise I should have been tex­ting/email­ing and gen­er­ally ha­rass­ing my own MP, af­ter he was elected last year, to give me a top po­si­tion here. I’m sure Boris could find me a globe-trot­ting job to help him out with his for­eign sec­re­tary stuff.

Like Mr Farage in his bid for the White House spare room, I am per­fectly qual­i­fied for a top job with Mr John­son. I don’t speak any lan­guages other than Brum­mie and English, and I would, of course, have to travel every­where by cruise ship, as I hate fly­ing.

I have had a big ca­reer change be­fore. In 1989 I swapped 15 years teach­ing for full­time jour­nal­ism where I stayed for 20 years.

So, I thought, well done to fi­nan­cial jour­nal­ist Lucy Kell­away who, at 57 years old has made the leap in the other di­rec­tion, giv­ing up a well-paid job to be­come a maths teacher in a London in­ner city school.

She hit the head­lines last week, be­cause the move was op­posed by the teach­ing unions, but I say good luck to her.

I en­joyed teach­ing but it’s not a cushy job. We need more maths teach­ers, and she’ll soon find out if she can cut the mus­tard.

Maybe Ca­role Vor­der­man will fol­low her ex­am­ple when she comes out of the jun­gle. Hard sums would be so much more in­ter­est­ing for the pupils, ac­com­pa­nied by the Count­down jin­gle.

I won­der how soon she would shout ‘I’m a Celebrity – Get Me Out of Here”?

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