Bm@il

Ev­ery week BAR­BARA FISHER looks at is­sues that af­fect us all – the is­sues that get you talk­ing. You can join in by email­ing bmail­bar­bara@gmail.com

Harefield Gazette - - YOUR SAY -

I’M a bit wor­ried about Cher. In the film Mama Mia! Here We Go Again, her face was stretched so tight it was com­pletely de­void of ex­pres­sion.

The diva has a funny line in the film about be­com­ing a great­grandma. Un­for­tu­nately, it’s mum­bled through a mouth as taut as a ven­tril­o­quist’s dummy.

It’s not just women of course who al­ter their faces. Brazil­ian ‘tele­vi­sion per­son­al­ity’ Ro­drigo Alves has mod­elled him­self on Ken (you know – Bar­bie doll’s mate). When did look­ing like a fea­ture­less plas­tic doll be­come a ca­reer choice?

On the other side of the coin there is Katie Piper, who is ap­pear­ing in the cur­rent se­ries of Strictly Come Danc­ing. Her face has also been re­built – the re­sult of an acid at­tack – but her char­ac­ter shines through her re­struc­tured fea­tures. I won­der, do the same sur­geons do these ops and do they feel dif­fer­ently about such con­trast­ing pa­tients? Are they both just jobs of work?

Many years ago I read a chill­ing and bril­liant book by LP Hart­ley called Fa­cial Jus­tice. It’s about a fu­ture where, for the sake of equal­ity, faces are com­pul­so­rily re­mod­elled if they are too at­trac­tive. The op­po­site of what is hap­pen­ing now (but still not de­sir­able ob­vi­ously).

For me, Mama Mia! Here We Go Again missed Meryl Streep who only ap­pears in the last few min­utes. Iron­i­cally, I thought the film came alive then, even though she is meant to be dead. A ghostly Streep with her move­able face and a scat­ter­ing of wrin­kles was more vi­brant than a blank Cher.

Talk­ing of be­ing an­i­mated, Uxbridge (CofE) Par­ish held a pet ser­vice on Sun­day in recog­ni­tion of the im­por­tant role they play in many peo­ple’s lives. I do hope it went well.

Held at St An­drew’s Church, the only rules were that an­i­mals must be kept safe and un­der con­trol and not al­lowed to roam. Dogs were ex­pected to be on leads, cats in a cat car­rier and small an­i­mals in suit­able con­tain­ers. Pre­sum­ably no ele­phants, as they wouldn’t fit in the pews.

We are cur­rently pet­free and the com­pul­sory walks our dogs had im­posed on us are sadly missed. Talk­ing of ex­er­cise, a fe­male reader who en­joys play­ing golf has asked me to pass on the mes­sage that she’d like to see more lo­cal women play­ing the sport. Phone Val on 07411 477 677 if you would be in­ter­ested in hear­ing more.

Fail­ing that, take a brisk trot to Water­stone’s in Uxbridge on Satur­day, when I’ll be sign­ing copies of Tales From An Old Hack – Mem­oir Of A lo­cal re­porter, from noon. Hope to see you! Ro­drigo Alves PHOTO: GETTY IM­AGES

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