For sale ad­verts A light-hearted look at the com­mon phrases that of­ten ap­pear in horse ad­verts

Dis­sect­ing a horses for sale ad­vert is a fine art. Call us scep­tics, but the hard­ened horse-buy­ers among us know to pay the most at­ten­tion to what is not said. How many of these ring true to you?

Horse & Hound - - News Insider - H&H

What the ad­vert says:

‘Not a novice ride’ What it re­ally means…

Best-case sce­nario: not ideal as your child’s

first horse or pony.

Worse-case sce­nario: not even ideal as your child’s se­cond horse or pony.

Worst-case sce­nario: not ideal for any­one with any sense of self-preser­va­tion…

What the ad­vert says:

‘17hh but rides small’ What it re­ally means… Best-case sce­nario: he re­ally is 17hh and rides more like 16hh.

Worse-case sce­nario: he’s 17.2hh and rides

ev­ery inch of that.

Worst-case sce­nario: he’s 18.2hh and a sin­gle stride will take you into the next county.

What the ad­vert says:

‘Per­fect am­a­teur’s ride’ What it re­ally means…

Best-case sce­nario: will give a non­pro­fes­sional plenty of fun.

Worse case sce­nario: only a pro could per­suade it round even rid­ing club heights — and it will only go on the bit with an ar­moury of gad­gets.

Worst-case sce­nario: so de­void of tal­ent it can’t jump a cross-pole or can­ter on any leg, or it’s hop­ping lame with­out four sa­chets of Bute.

What the ad­vert says:

‘Has seen hounds’ What it re­ally means… Best-case sce­nario: has hunted rea­son­ably reg­u­larly.

Worse-case sce­nario: has seen hounds (from a dis­tance on one day’s au­tumn hunt­ing).

Worst-case sce­nario: saw them once, kicked them and was banned for life.

What the ad­vert says:

‘Sold from the field’ What it re­ally means…

Best-case sce­nario: has had time off be­cause of owner’s other com­mit­ments or an­other en­tirely hon­est rea­son sup­plied by the owner.

Worse-case sce­nario: hasn’t been rid­den for a while be­cause when­ever it comes into work it doesn’t stay sound.

Worst-case sce­nario: hasn’t been rid­den for a while be­cause the last time the owner tried, it scared them half to death.

What the ad­vert says:

‘Moves well enough to do Bri­tish Dres­sage’ What it re­ally means… Best-case sce­nario: it does in­deed move well enough to com­pete at af­fil­i­ated dres­sage.

Worse-case sce­nario: does a great medium trot when it’s es­cap­ing from its sta­ble and head­ing for the wide-open spa­ces.

Worst-case sce­nario: we re­ally hope it’ll do dres­sage be­cause it def­i­nitely doesn’t jump.

What the ad­vert says:

‘Could go far’ What it re­ally means… Best-case sce­nario: tonnes of scope with an at­ti­tude to match.

Worse-case sce­nario: has done ab­so­lutely noth­ing, but its tem­per­a­ment seems nice enough.

Worst-case sce­nario: it has po­ten­tial with a rider glued to the sad­dle.

What the ad­vert says:

‘Low mileage’ What it re­ally means…

Best-case sce­nario: has just not been out much for time/trans­port/work rea­sons.

Worse-case sce­nario: has never been able to go out much be­cause it’s al­ways lame.

Worst-case sce­nario: even if it was sound, it’s so dan­ger­ous it’s been banned from ev­ery venue any­way.

What the ad­vert says:

‘Jump­ing 1.30m at home’ What it re­ally means…

Best-case sce­nario: re­ally is jump­ing

1.30m at home.

Worse-case sce­nario: jumped a 1.30m fence at home once — but wouldn’t dare try it any­where else.

Worst-case sce­nario: once jumped out over the 1.30m arena fence at home.

What the ad­vert says:

‘A real head-turner’ What it re­ally means… Best-case sce­nario: he has three very

im­pres­sive paces.

Worse-case sce­nario: he likes to show off those paces (and ev­ery other move­ment in the book) at any given op­por­tu­nity — in­clud­ing com­ing down the ramp of the lorry.

Worst-case sce­nario: fel­low com­peti­tors can’t help tak­ing no­tice as he bolts hell-for-leather across the car park, tack drag­ging be­hind him.

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