BE MORE CON­FI­DENT What might be caus­ing self-doubt? Take our quiz to nd out.

In the Moment - - Contents -

IF YOU’RE NOT SURE HOW YOU MEA­SURE UP, TAKE HAR­RIET GRIF­FEY’S QUIZ TO FIND OUT WHERE YOU SIT ON THE CON­FI­DENCE STAKES – THEN TURN TO PAGE 26 TO FIND OUT HOW TO QUI­ETEN YOUR IN­NER CRITIC

“If you’re pre­sent­ing your­self with con dence, you can pull o pretty much any­thing.”

Katy Perry

C on dence is feel­ing emo­tion­ally sure, se­cure and strong – it’s the op­po­site of feel­ing fear­ful, anx­ious or scared. It’s know­ing in your heart that you are safe, ca­pa­ble and tal­ented, and can ac­com­plish, or at least try to ac­com­plish, what­ever it is

WHEN YOU’RE OUT AND ABOUT, DO YOU GEN­ER­ALLY FIND OTHER PEO­PLE:

Very friendly. Ap­proach­able.

OK – I don’t re­ally no­tice. Gen­er­ally un­help­ful and some­times dif­fi­cult.

AT A WORK­PLACE SO­CIAL EVENT, DO YOU IM­ME­DI­ATELY:

Breeze up to the near­est per­son and start talk­ing.

Take a deep breath and look for some­one you know.

Take a quick look and if there’s no one you know, leave.

Never go to these events un­less it’s with a friend. that you want to do. It’s all part of hu­man na­ture to feel un­sure about new sit­u­a­tions, but it’s ex­pe­ri­enc­ing them that teaches us how to do things and gain con dence from do­ing them.

DO YOU FEEL THAT YOUR OPIN­ION MAT­TERS?

Yes.

Yes, but not ev­ery­one will agree with me.

No, no one’s in­ter­ested. Don’t have an opin­ion.

IF YOU TRY SOME­THING

NEW AND IT DOESN’T WORK, DO YOU THINK:

It was fine.

I’ll have an­other go but maybe try dif­fer­ently. That al­ways hap­pens to me, I’m use­less.

I won’t try that again.

WHEN YOU’VE COM­PLETED A TASK SUC­CESS­FULLY, DO YOU THINK:

I knew I could do it.

I wasn’t sure, but I thought I prob­a­bly could.

That was eas­ier than I thought. That was a fluke, maybe

I got it wrong.

GIVEN A COM­PLEX PROB­LEM TO SOLVE, DO YOU:

Tackle it alone, pretty sure you can work it out.

Take a look and then ask for help. Take a look and then give up. Don’t bother to try, it’s too dif­fi­cult.

IF YOU MAKE A MIS­TAKE, DO YOU FEEL:

Fine, it’s just a mis­take.

OK, but maybe I’ll try again dif­fer­ently. Ter­ri­ble – such an id­iot!

Fu­ri­ous with your­self and can’t let it go.

DO YOU FIND IT HARD TO SAY NO?

Never. Oc­ca­sion­ally. Of­ten. Al­ways.

HOW SUC­CESS­FUL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE COM­PARED TO YOUR PEER GROUP?

Gen­er­ally, I’m more suc­cess­ful.

I don’t know, I don’t re­ally make com­par­isons.

Ev­ery­one is more suc­cess­ful than me. I’m a com­plete fail­ure by com­par­i­son.

HOW MUCH DO YOU CARE WHAT PEO­PLE THINK OF YOU?

I don’t care at all. Gen­er­ally, I only care what those I care about think of me.

Some days it mat­ters more than oth­ers.

I judge ev­ery­thing by what oth­ers think of me.

IF YOUR SPOUSE/PART­NER/ LOVER DOES SOME­THING THAT UPSETS YOU, CAN YOU TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL?

Al­ways. Of­ten. Oc­ca­sion­ally. Never.

THE NIGHT BE­FORE AN IM­POR­TANT EXAM/TEST/ IN­TER­VIEW, HOW WELL DO YOU SLEEP?

Fine.

Fine – I've pre­pared well and I'm not wor­ried.

Awake early, wor­ry­ing.

Awake sev­eral times in the night, wor­ry­ing.

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