“Ev­ery­one hates me!”

Inside Soap - - THE BIG INTERVIEW -

I’ve done a bad thing. Many bad things! (In fact, if I’m hon­est, I can’t re­mem­ber when I last did a good thing.) At Christ­mas, af­ter alien­at­ing all my neigh­bours, I ended up sleep­ing with my mar­ried ex. Soon af­ter, my daugh­ters fell from the roof of the lo­cal pub and one later died. (My son died the same way a few years back – weird, huh?) Now ev­ery­one hates me! What can I do?

Yours mourn­fully, Max from Wal­ford

Aw, Maxy. That’s made me dead sad that has. My ad­vice: do some­thing to stop your fam­ily climb­ing all over that bloomin’ pub! (Or mebbe ask the land­lord to put up some sort of rail­ing?) I work in a boozer me­self, and I can prom­ise you that nay beg­gar has ever fallen off the top of it.

As for mak­ing friends… Well, you kindly in­cluded a pho­to­graph with your let­ter – and you look quite the lit­tle pocket rocket! I’ve al­ways found bald men that bit more… frisky, if you know what I mean? Should you ever end up down Weather­field way, give me a bell – I’ll put a smile on yer face!

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