Hero to zero in one short drive

Kentish Express Ashford & District - - Front Page -

AN AMER­I­CAN foot­ball match was in­ter­rupted at the week­end by two jok­ers run­ning around the pitch, a man dressed in a tiger suit wear­ing a red shirt, pur­sued by a blonde woman wield­ing a golf club. And thus has the coolest man on the planet, The Un­touch­able, aloof, Mr Per­fect, been re­duced to a laugh­ing stock, the sub­ject of chat show and web­site jokes about scor­ing birdies, way­ward drives and hav­ing lots of ex­pen­sive cars and a hole in one. I re­mem­ber, when Tiger Woods got mar­ried, there was con­cern in the sports me­dia that such a sig­nif­i­cant change in his life might un­der­mine his golf­ing ca­reer. And then I saw the pho­to­graphs of Elin Norde­gren, and couldn’t help think­ing: “Are you kid­ding? With a woman like that at home, who wants to play golf?” The real losers in this sor­did lit­tle sand­trap, of course, are the trou­bled cou­ple’s chil­dren, who must hero-wor­ship their fa­ther, and no doubt now have their school mates teas­ing them about a film called Crouch­ing Tiger, Hid­den Hy­drant. You might ex­pect a man to take the guy’s side, but the trou­ble with the likes of Woods is that they spoil it for the rest of us, turn­ing women into green-eyed para­noiacs, ready to judge any ca­sual glance at a pair of pass­ing jeg­gings as ev­i­dence of chronic in­fi­delity. OK, maybe there’s the tee­ni­est bit of jeal­ousy for a man so good-looking, tal­ented, rich and suc­cess­ful, who kept on winning tour­na­ments while al­legedly car­ry­ing on a whole string of af­fairs, so for­give us if we snig­ger along with: “Tiger’s changed his name – to Chee­tah.” And you can’t help feel­ing some awe-struck ad­mi­ra­tion for Norde­gren’s feisty and fit­ting re­ac­tion, smash­ing his Cadil­lac with one of his own golf clubs (“Heard Phil Mick­el­son called Elin – for tips on how to beat Tiger.”) With hubby bring­ing home about $130 mil­lion a year, it’s per­haps stretch­ing it a bit to call Mrs Woods a golf widow – but per­haps he can con­sider him­self lucky that she hasn’t made the term rather more lit­eral.

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