and steel pan­ther get dirty in a dive bar

Kerrang! (UK) - - Contents - WORDS: AMIT SHARMA PHO­TOS: PAUL HARRIES

THE CROBAR, LON­DON. 15.02.17 KKK HAIR METAL HELLRAISERS GET UP-CLOSE-ANDPERSONAL IN LON­DON

“THERE’S ONLY two of us, but I’ve got good news: it’s the best two in the band,” de­clares Steel Pan­ther ax­e­man Satchel. “We’ve got no mon­i­tors and, for once, our singer has no back­ing tracks.”

Things, as if you needed telling, are not get­ting sen­si­ble here.the self-pro­claimed ‘best half’ of Steel Pan­ther – Satchel and singer Michael Starr – have de­cided to hole up in Dave Grohl’s favourite tiny rock bar to cel­e­brate the re­lease of their fifth al­bum Lower The Bar. Crammed into The Crobar’s close con­fines, armed only with an acous­tic gui­tar, the grue­some two­some treat us to the live de­but of lat­est sin­gle Poon­tang Boomerang – you know, the one which re­cently pre­miered on Porn­hub – and a run-through of Just Like Tiger Woods, which they’ve never played acous­tic be­fore,“for a rea­son”.

It’s all in bril­liantly bad taste, with the usual gags only this band could ever get away with flow­ing freely.after bick­er­ing over who’s more out of tune and com­ing in on the wrong count, they troll their band­mates who are watch­ing the Face­book Live-feed to­gether at home “be­cause they share the same one-room apart­ment”.

As per usual, the glam metal ma­ni­acs have a few sur­prises up their sleeves – new mem­ber Axl, who spe­cialises in per­cus­sion and “wang”, gets hired and fired dur­ing the 40-minute set (“it’s like be­ing in Guns N’ Roses, only re­verse,” quips Satchel). It’s un­likely we’ll see his face ever again.and, for bet­ter or worse, we’ll prob­a­bly never see Steel Pan­ther like this again, ei­ther. Mu­si­cally, this is near-ter­ri­ble, but even at half-power, for sheer LOLZ and fun the Pan­ther still tri­umph tonight.

Meet Axl: a mem­ber of Steel Pan­ther for three whole min­utes

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