Sing up!

CHRIS HORRICKS ap­peals for help to cre­ate mu­si­cal trib­utes to play­ers of the past…

Late Tackle Football Magazine - - MUSIC - LT

IN THE mod­ern game, a lot is made of sta­tis­ti­cal anal­y­sis and other things that are less than en­ter­tain­ing, of­ten bor­der­ing on dull and with soul-de­stroy­ing repet­i­tive­ness.

With this in mind, my friend Paul and I have taken it upon our­selves to go back to the 90s of our youth and breathe new life into for­got­ten play­ers or those who haven’t been held in such high es­teem as the Eric Can­tonas, Matt Le Tissiers and Ian Wrights of this world.

We have done this in the medium of song. Our mu­si­cal trib­utes to these he­roes have so far taken two forms: firstly find­ing play­ers’ names who fit the lyrics of pop­u­lar songs. For in­stance, Depeche Mode’s Per­sonal

Je­sus led us to re­plac­ing the line “your own per­sonal Je­sus” with the player-based lyric “(Cameron) JEROME, (Dar­ren) PURSE, (Sean) SCANNELL, (Gabriel) JE­SUS” and our favourite cre­ation so far, Ram Jam’s leg­endary re­frain of “Whoa, Black Betty Bam-ba-Lam” in our minds be­came “(Ian) WOAN, (Kings­ley) BLACK, (David) BATTY, (Mar­cus) HAHNEMANN”.

We have ac­com­pa­nied these ideas with videos to il­lus­trate our vi­sion, which con­sist of shirts with the names of each player in time to their men­tion in the lyric in question.

It may be silly and throw-away but in the mod­ern era when things are taken too se­ri­ously, it’s high time a bit of the spirit of Frank Skin­ner and David Bad­diel’s Fan­tasy Foot­ball League was rein­tro­duced.

It is with the late Jeff As­tle in mind that we pro­gressed to the lat­est phase of our jour­ney to make foot­ball fun again.

For­mer West Brom and Eng­land leg­end As­tle would ap­pear at the end of each episode of Fan­tasy League to close the show with a song which had some rel­e­vance to some­thing that had been men­tioned in the pro­ceed­ing 30 min­utes of hi­lar­ity, all the while dressed in some form of fancy dress.

We have moved on to film­ing our­selves singing parts of songs that have been hits but long enough ago so that they’re not con­tem­po­rary and, as such, in keep­ing with our nos­tal­gic quest of cre­ativ­ity.

For ex­am­ple, in the mid-2000s a band called The Feel­ing had a song called Never Be

Lonely which con­tained the lyric “peo­ple in love get fast and fool­ish, peo­ple in love get every­thing wrong” which we have lov­ingly crafted into “Peter Ndlovu gets fast and fool­ish, Peter Ndlovu gets every­thing wrong” (he doesn’t and we don’t in­tend this as any sort of slight on the char­ac­ter of the for­mer Zim­bab­wean, Coven­try and Birm­ing­ham City striker, it just sounds like they’re singing about him through­out). We have come up with dozens of these so far. How­ever, it seems we are strug­gling to a de­gree to find ma­te­rial as strong as we would like. It is with this in mind that we openly in­vite other fans to sug­gest play­ers whose names could po­ten­tially fit with the lyric of a song. If you’re read­ing this and you have an idea we might be able to use, please tweet it to @chrishorricks31 and if we use it you’ll be cred­ited and no­ti­fied when we come up with some­thing…

Jerome Purse Scannell Je­sus

Peter Ndlovu

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