He’s Miss­ing The Point – I Didn’t Want Men To Like My Body

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‘Dr Sig­man claims “know­ing what men think can serve as an an­ti­dote to the pre­vail­ing as­sump­tions that feed body dis­sat­is­fac­tion”. Or, in other words: “It’s OK to eat cake, girls. Men pre­fer some­thing to hold onto.”

As some­one who used to suf­fer from anorexia, I know that male val­i­da­tion wouldn’t have made me feel any hap­pier. When pu­berty hit and boys com­mented on my boobs, I didn’t feel bet­ter. In fact, one of the things I loved about get­ting thin­ner was that men stopped both­er­ing me. Pos­i­tive re­in­force­ment from an un­cle or grand­fa­ther wouldn’t have helped that – any kind of male judge­ment made me feel out of con­trol.

In­stead of telling women to lis­ten to men’s pos­i­tive com­ments about their bod­ies, we need to make sure men of all re­la­tion to us know we’re much more than our looks in the first place. If Dr Aric wants to help, he can en­cour­age peo­ple to stop think­ing about whether we’re hot or not in guys’ eyes, and start talk­ing about what we can do.’

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