‘It completely Changed my Relationship’
Lisa Wakeham, 31, a writer from east London tells us why she prefers sleeping in a separate bed to boyfriend Ben, also 31
‘Ben and I have been together for seven years, but about 12 months ago I was really struggling to get a wink of sleep. Ben moves around in the bed a lot at night and I’m particularly sensitive to it. I went through a patch of insomnia and it was awful. I was so tired and frazzled I felt like even someone pushing past me would cause me to fall apart.
We would be up at 3am trying to decide whose turn it was to sleep on the sofa and things would get pretty fraught. One day, after another night of no sleep, I sobbed to a friend and she suggested separate single beds as a short-term solution. We decided to try it. I was pretty downhearted at first as we lined up our beds in the same room. I thought it would really affect our relationship in a bad way and I was embarrassed. I was worried that friends who came to the house would judge us. But it soon turned into the best idea ever.
The beds are on wheels so we can move them together, but we can also separate them and move them further apart if I’m having a bad night. We still start off on the same bed together, but one of us moves to the other bed if I can’t get off to sleep. Nothing has changed in terms of sex, I’m pleased to say. I did worry we wouldn’t feel as close and I would get upset over it but as time’s gone on, it’s been a positive experience.
Now, when I see other couples moaning about a lack of sleep I feel so relieved because we’ve been saved from years of arguments. My friends think it’s great and my family has been really supportive. I don’t think it would work for everyone but our relationship’s so much better for it.