Should You Break Up With Your BFF?

Let’s get real: some friend­ships aren’t made to last. But could you, or should you, break up with your best mate?

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Per­haps it was when they for­got to let you know they couldn’t make it to din­ner – for the fifth time – or when they were rude to one of your mates… again. Just like any re­la­tion­ship, friend­ships can have a turn­ing point where they go sour, but how do you know when it’s time to cut and run?

It’s a ques­tion even celebs ask them­selves. In fact, last week Khloé Kar­dashian hinted that she’d un­der­gone a bit of a friend­ship over­haul. ‘We must learn who is gold, and who is sim­ply gold plated’, she In­sta­grammed. ‘Be mind­ful of peo­ple who reg­u­larly dis­ap­point or let you down. Stop mak­ing ex­cuses for the ones who don’t put you first and make more time for the ones who are de­serv­ing and fight­ing for your time.’

We asked an ex­pert how to tell if the writ­ing’s on the wall…

1 They’re Al­ways Can­celling On You

Ev­ery­one’s plans change some­times, but if your friend is con­sis­tently can­celling on you – or worse, stand­ing you up – it shows they don’t re­spect your time.

2 They’re Stress­ing You Out

‘Ex­am­ine your thresh­old for con­flict,’ says psy­chol­o­gist Dr Arthur Cas­sidy. ‘You might not wish to lose a val­ued friend, but the an­guish of a toxic re­la­tion­ship will be dam­ag­ing for you and your fu­ture friend­ships.’

3 It’s All Them, Them, Them

Ever get the feel­ing they don’t care about you? ‘Re­search shows us that in many cases it’s more re­ward­ing to let go of toxic re­la­tion­ships,’ says Dr Cas­sidy, ‘es­pe­cially if the peo­ple con­cerned un­load their emo­tional bag­gage onto you. This has the po­ten­tial to cause you men­tal ill-health.’

4 They Don’t Share Your Val­ues

As you grow up you be­come more set in your val­ues and morals. It’s good to as­sess whether your friends are on the same wave­length about the things that are re­ally im­por­tant to you.

5 They Don’t Make You Happy

This may sound sim­ple, but think of it like you would a re­la­tion­ship. If a friend is con­sis­tently mak­ing you un­happy it may be time to re­assess things. Friend­ship should be more about the beers, less about the tears!

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