Freshers’ Week has descended. Yet to experience it? Consider this a guide. Already done it? Oh, the memories…
1 Try to unpack all your swanky new pots and pans only to realise that you’ve got to throw half your stuff away because there is no room to store it.
2 Snog half the boys on your floor of halls of residence and then have to spend the next week trying to work out what their names are. Matt? Paul? Sam?
3 Find a club with a vibrating dancefloor where it’s 50p a drink.
4 Spend £20 and realise you’ve had 40 drinks. And you’re on a vibrating dancefloor.
5 Steal your housemates’ milk/cheese/ fancy spices and not even feel sorry about it.
6 Get lost in your new town on a night out and cry when you realise: ‘OMG, they don’t have Uber yet?’
7 Sign up to the netball society at the freshers’ fair, but proceed to never set foot in the sports hall.
8 Burn through your student loan in precisely eight days and then have to spend the whole term living off noodles. The Pot Noodle kind, not the Wagamama kind.
9 Make friends with a person who has the full freshers’ itinerary revised and every possible fancy dress theme covered, when all you’ve got is a pair of tatty cat ears.
10 Find yourself standing outside in the pyjamas you’ve owned since you were 16 after someone thought it would be funny to set off the fire alarm.
11 Get Freshers’ Flu. By the end of the first week, dose up on vitamin C because seriously, it’s awful.
12 Miss at least two of your lectures, even though you’ve only got 10 hours of lessons a week.
13 Repeat your name/ course/hometown approximately 5,000 times (and forget everyone else’s in about three seconds).
14 Buy every textbook on your course reading list and use them as dinner mats. 1 5 Dodge 17 missed calls from your worried mum because you’re too drunk to answer…
16 …but then act outraged when she dares not to answer your call when you feel homesick.
17 Convince yourself, no matter what your parents say, that pasta and ketchup is a proper meal. 18 Make friends with your halls neighbour and quickly realise they’re soooo boring, but you can’t rid of them.
19 Attend parties with some questionable themes, Porn star night, yeah?
Fish bowl, anyone?
Freshers’ Flu is REAL
Hands up if you love fancy dress!
Make friends for life…