Uh-oh,it’s Fresh­ers’week!

Fresh­ers’ Week has de­scended. Yet to ex­pe­ri­ence it? Con­sider this a guide. Al­ready done it? Oh, the mem­o­ries…

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1 Try to un­pack all your swanky new pots and pans only to re­alise that you’ve got to throw half your stuff away be­cause there is no room to store it.

2 Snog half the boys on your floor of halls of res­i­dence and then have to spend the next week try­ing to work out what their names are. Matt? Paul? Sam?

3 Find a club with a vi­brat­ing dance­floor where it’s 50p a drink.

4 Spend £20 and re­alise you’ve had 40 drinks. And you’re on a vi­brat­ing dance­floor.

5 Steal your house­mates’ milk/cheese/ fancy spices and not even feel sorry about it.

6 Get lost in your new town on a night out and cry when you re­alise: ‘OMG, they don’t have Uber yet?’

7 Sign up to the net­ball so­ci­ety at the fresh­ers’ fair, but pro­ceed to never set foot in the sports hall.

8 Burn through your stu­dent loan in pre­cisely eight days and then have to spend the whole term liv­ing off noo­dles. The Pot Noo­dle kind, not the Waga­mama kind.

9 Make friends with a per­son who has the full fresh­ers’ itin­er­ary re­vised and ev­ery pos­si­ble fancy dress theme cov­ered, when all you’ve got is a pair of tatty cat ears.

10 Find your­self stand­ing out­side in the py­ja­mas you’ve owned since you were 16 af­ter some­one thought it would be funny to set off the fire alarm.

11 Get Fresh­ers’ Flu. By the end of the first week, dose up on vi­ta­min C be­cause se­ri­ously, it’s aw­ful.

12 Miss at least two of your lec­tures, even though you’ve only got 10 hours of lessons a week.

13 Re­peat your name/ course/home­town ap­prox­i­mately 5,000 times (and for­get ev­ery­one else’s in about three sec­onds).

14 Buy ev­ery text­book on your course read­ing list and use them as din­ner mats. 1 5 Dodge 17 missed calls from your wor­ried mum be­cause you’re too drunk to an­swer…

16 …but then act out­raged when she dares not to an­swer your call when you feel home­sick.

17 Con­vince your­self, no mat­ter what your par­ents say, that pasta and ketchup is a proper meal. 18 Make friends with your halls neigh­bour and quickly re­alise they’re soooo bor­ing, but you can’t rid of them.

19 At­tend par­ties with some ques­tion­able themes, Porn star night, yeah?

Fish bowl, any­one?

Fresh­ers’ Flu is REAL

Hands up if you love fancy dress!

Make friends for life…

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