7 Things EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT going HOME FOR CHRISTMAS
Heading home this Xmas? It’s time to prepare yourself for the good, the bad and the ugly…
1 Post-prosecco Packing you knew christmas was coming, you’ve known for 12 months. But of course you’re hurriedly packing for your trip home in a post-work Prosecco haze, cursing as you have 30 minutes before you catch the train. 2 The Stand Off in your head, you imagine listening to driving home For christmas on repeat, gazing out of a train window as snowflakes fall. Bliss. in reality, you’ll be standing in a crammed aisle while trying to balance the world’s most oddly shaped presents. 3 The Feeders your waistline will expand. your family spends the whole time overfeeding you and will then comment on how ‘well’ you look. 4 The Borrower you realise you’ve packed nothing appropriate (see no 1) but you will find something amazing in your mum’s wardrobe – she’ll never get that back. 5 The Nightmare Before Christmas a trip to the local pub with the girls will sound ideal – but it wouldn’t be christmas if you didn’t bump into your high school boyfriend. it’s never not awkward. 6 The Family-a-thon you’ll have to repeat the finer details of your career and love life at least 20 times to multiple family members, so start practising your fake life now. high-flying job? yes. Money saved for a deposit? ’course. long-term boyfriend? sure thing. 7 The Final Destination you’ll love being at home for the first few days – your old bed, the heating you’re not paying for. But by day three, you’ll be craving uber, 5am takeaways and being able to swipe through tinder without feeling like you’re viewing the guestlist of a school reunion.
This should be an Olympic sport
‘I packed no clothes but at least I have great hair’