The Key To Taking Charge…
Therapist, coach and author Michael Neenan tells how to take control of your life during tricky times… No one is exempt from experiencing adversity and tough times in life. It’s counter-productive to retreat into a ‘Why me?’ self-pitying mode. You don’t complain when life treats you fairly, so you can expect a dose of unfairness from time to time too.
Accept that the situation has happened and determine which aspects are within your control. For example, if your partner has rejected you, this is outside your control; but you don’t have to reject yourself. Instead, think: ‘I can learn to live alone for a while.’ This is within your control.
Determine what you need to change to improve the odds of overcoming adversity. Stop insisting that the road to recovery should be quick and painless – instead, accept that struggle and perseverance are to be expected. Resilience is only forged through struggle.
Expect and accept a range of mixed feelings. For example, you’ll swing from ‘Why me?’ despair to ‘Just get on with it!’ grit. Don’t believe you have to feel upbeat every step of the way. Finally, seek support from others; it’s not a sign of weakness.
Developing Resilience: A Cognitivebehavioural Approach by Michael Neenan (£16.99, Routledge) is out now