Grow­ing old? You have to lump it

Macclesfield Express - - BARLOW’S BRIEF -

WHAT hap­pens when you reach old age?

Hol­ly­wood ac­tor Ge­orge Burns said that once peo­ple re­tire friends and fam­ily tell them to slow down.

Doc­tors ad­vise tak­ing it easy. Cat re­places dog and even­tu­ally slip­pers re­place walk­ing shoes.

Af­ter a few years’ prac­tice these re­tirees be­come ex­perts at be­ing old.

I don’t know how true that is but I do know the acid test for old age is sugar. Don’t be­lieve me? Try this lit­tle ex­per­i­ment.

Take your grown up kids out for din­ner and check the sugar bowl as you leave the res­tau­rant. Full...right?

Now go to din­ner with that guy from the bridge club who doesn’t do email and thinks Twit­ter is a Dis­ney char­ac­ter.

Check the sugar bowl as you leave the ta­ble. I guar­an­tee it will be empty and I know just where that sugar will be...in his pocket.

I have no idea why they do it. It’s a habit that comes with old age.

My un­cle did it and he didn’t like sugar.

“So why are you tak­ing it?” I asked him af­ter a fam­ily din­ner.

“I might meet a horse on the way home.”

That was when I knew he’d lost it.

●● Tak­ing sugar lumps are an acid test for old age

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