Joanna Lum­ley, Piers Mor­gan and a list of things to do be­fore I die

Macclesfield Express - - BARLOW’S BRIEF -

THE weather has turned mis­er­able but we’re re­fus­ing to be­lieve sum­mer is over here at Silk.

We still have lots of fan­tas­tic events to at­tend and a lit­tle rain won’t dampen our spir­its.

This Bank Hol­i­day week­end is jam-packed with fun events for the whole fam­ily and we can’t wait to be part of them.

Why don’t you head to the Poyn­ton Show this Satur­day and see the Patanavac Gun­dogs and Fer­ret dis­play or per­haps Big Pete and the Grim Reaper Mon­ster Truck is more up your street?

Which­ever it is, make sure you’re also head­ing over to the Silk tent to have a chat with Cheshire the Cat and Silk Team – we’d love to see you!

Triple­fest is also back this week­end fea­tur­ing TV co­me­di­ans and artists and the in­fa­mous Welly Fest. Join us this Mon­day for their fam­ily fun day with an­i­mals, mo­tors, de­mon­stra­tions and arena en­ter­tain­ment – we know it’s set to be a great day! DO you have a Bucket List i.e. things you want to do be­fore you die?

I think ev­ery­one should have one. You don’t want to be gasp­ing your last and sud­denly re­mem­ber that ca­noe trip up the Orinoco.

If you’re strug­gling to com­pile a Bucket List here’s mine. It might point you in the right di­rec­tion.

1. Take part in the Idi­tarod sled dog race. (I’ve always fan­cied a bit of mush­ing.) 2. Write a novel. 3. Have a long week­end with Joanna Lum­ley.

4. Have longer week­end with Joanna Lum­ley.

5. Drive a herd of cows across Wy­oming on horse­back.

6. Save some­one from cer­tain death (not Piers Mor­gan).

7. Drive a herd of cows across Wy­oming with Joanna Lum­ley.

8. Win Crufts with my un­faith­ful Labrador Mur­phy.

9. Make Vic­to­ria Beck­ham smile (prob­a­bly by not sav­ing Piers Mor­gan.)

10. Watch Eng­land’s soc­cer team win the World Cup.

I have a de­cent chance of achiev­ing num­bers one, five and nine. Mur­phy is a bit old for eight and I’m re­ally strug­gling with seven (Joanna is ner­vous around cows).

I know num­ber 10 is a pipe dream but you have to think big. If push comes to shove I’ll run on and score a cou­ple my­self.

I’ve got a real dilemma with num­ber six. I’ve never done any­thing you could re­gard as brave (ex­cept de­flat­ing my French teacher’s bike tyres) so I’d re­ally like to do some­thing heroic.

But you can’t choose who you res­cue. Non­swim­mers aren’t ex­actly lin­ing up to throw them­selves into the canal for me to save.

Maybe I could save Joanna Lum­ley and tie num­ber six up with three and four but sup­pose... just sup­pose it is Piers Mor­gan drown­ing in the canal.

Where do you find an al­li­ga­tor when you need one?

●● Not sav­ing Piers Mor­gan and a long week­end with Joanna Lum­ley rate highly with Vic

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