At what time do you want me?
ARE you a punctual person? I am. If my editor asks me to submit my column by 5pm that’s when he’ll have it.
I won’t deliver it at 7pm accompanied by a list of excuses longer than a camel’s tongue. It will arrive at five on the dot.
So why do official invitations ask you to be there at 7 for 7.30?
When do they want us 7pm or half past? If you turn up prompt at seven there’s rarely anyone there.
I did it over Christmas and the host was still in the bath (were we supposed to hop in?).
It’s one of those social etiquettes I just don’t get. You wouldn’t hear the steward telling jockeys to be at the starting gate at 3 for 3.30. It’s either the three o’clock race or it isn’t.
You don’t have football matches kicking off at 3 for 3.30 and I never had a boss giving me a half hour window in which to turn up for work. It doesn’t make any sense.
Are we so stupid that we must be told to arrive a little early for dinner?
If so what’s the point of digital timekeeping?
Your old granddad’s spring-loaded pocket watch will do. Why buy a watch at all? Our cat can tell the time to within 30 minutes. If he hasn’t been fed by seven you can hear him wailing from White Nancy.
So, do me a favour. If you are sending out tickets to a function just tell us what time dinner is served. We can work it out from there.