VIC BAR­LOW TAKES AN AL­TER­NA­TIVE LOOK AT LIFE IN MAC­CLES­FIELD I dis­cov­ered my GP is more popular than One Di­rec­tion

Macclesfield Express - - BARLOW’S BRIEF -

IT’S the start of a brand new year full of fresh ex­pe­ri­ences. So what did I learn from 2014?

I learned that MPs con­sider pay in­creases of one per cent ad­e­quate for the work­ing pub­lic while noth­ing less than 10pc is suf­fi­cient for them­selves.

I cer­tainly learned that set­ting up your own ‘in­de­pen­dent’ body to de­ter­mine your salary ob­tains much bet­ter re­sults than other eval­u­a­tion sys­tems. (Nurses and teach­ers take note).

To my ut­ter amaze­ment I dis­cov­ered some char­i­ties will refuse one-off do­na­tions in­sist­ing in­stead on di­rect deb­its. (Cheeky or what?) When the world price of oil drops by 50pc petrol prices fall by 15pc. I learned that.

(In­ter­est­ing to see what hap­pens when the world price goes up?)

I learned that judges on TV singing com­pe­ti­tions are bril­liant at mim­ing to their own songs.

I quickly dis­cov­ered that any­thing pos­i­tive writ­ten about coun­cil leader Michael Jones at­tracts an avalanche of crit­i­cism.

I found out a 60-quid cat from a res­cue cen­tre can be more fun than a world cruise.

Try it (the cat not the cruise) you won’t be dis­ap­pointed.

From the time I must wait for an ap­point­ment I dis­cov­ered my GP is more popular than One Di­rec­tion.

(My next con­sul­ta­tion is at the O2).

Cat­nip has the same ef­fect on a cat as co­caine on a rock star (our cat threw the TV out of the bed­room win­dow).

For rea­sons that com­pletely es­cape me I learned that a train cut­ting its jour­ney time by 20 min­utes, as the HS2 does (by skip­ping out most sta­tions) is worth £40B of pub­lic fund­ing (about 80 new hos­pi­tals). Dis­cuss…

Fi­nally I learned we have the best pub­lic health sys­tem in the world and should not al­low sen­sa­tion­al­ism to ob­scure that fun­da­men­tal truth.

Happy new year!

●● Vic’s dogs Murphy and Tally on Teggs Nose

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