n past years, I’d have said that this was the last Micro Mart of the year. This time, though, it’s simply the last Micro Mart. End of an era, to be sure. My 14 years on the mag – nearly 15 – have come to an end.
I didn’t think I’d last 14 weeks! For a long, long time, I believed that the editor – first Simon ‘ Irn’ Brew and now Anthony ‘ How much longer is it going to be?’ Enticknap – would realise that my computing knowledge was no greater than the mag’s readers’ – and often worse. Heaven knows how I’ve managed to get away with it!
Anyway, there’s too much doom and gloom in the world already, so let’s not be maudlin. We’ve had a good run together, haven’t we, friends and neighbours? Let’s finish off with some Take care on the roads this winter, my friends...
News flash: A lorry carrying a cargo of wireless networking equipment was mysteriously hijacked this morning on the M42. Police admit they have no leads.
Late-breaking traffic report: Central Nottingham has come to a standstill tonight. A lorry has overturned on the A52 and shed its entire load of 4K computer screens. Police can’t yet say when the road will reopen laughs. Below is a selection of the best (worst?) jokes I’ve printed over the past 750-odd issues (suitably updated).
I wish you all the very best for 2017. From everyone who’s been involved with the mag, thanks for reading, thanks for supporting, and thanks for the debates (some heated!). You’re welcome to stay in touch. The forum, at forum. micromart.co.uk, is still live, and when the plug’s finally pulled, many of the old crowd will migrate to forumite.co.uk. I can also be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org and www. facebook.com/jasondallison.
For now, though, dear readers, get out your sewing kits. Prepare for your sides to split. The following gags are so bad they’re ... er ... still bad... but are continuing to monitor the situation.
News flash: A lorry carrying a cargo of Windows 10 Mobile handsets was hijacked this morning in the Queensway tunnel in Birmingham. Police say the gang of thieves took everything of value then left the vehicle abandoned. They ask the public to contact them immediately if they witness anyone suspicious trying to sell a Garmin GPS, a packet of cheese-and-onion sandwiches, or a novelty dashboard Christmas tree.