ASK JA­SON

Micro Mart - - The Experts -

n past years, I’d have said that this was the last Mi­cro Mart of the year. This time, though, it’s sim­ply the last Mi­cro Mart. End of an era, to be sure. My 14 years on the mag – nearly 15 – have come to an end.

I didn’t think I’d last 14 weeks! For a long, long time, I be­lieved that the edi­tor – first Si­mon ‘ Irn’ Brew and now An­thony ‘ How much longer is it go­ing to be?’ Entick­nap – would re­alise that my com­put­ing knowl­edge was no greater than the mag’s read­ers’ – and often worse. Heaven knows how I’ve man­aged to get away with it!

Any­way, there’s too much doom and gloom in the world al­ready, so let’s not be maudlin. We’ve had a good run to­gether, haven’t we, friends and neigh­bours? Let’s fin­ish off with some Take care on the roads this win­ter, my friends...

News flash: A lorry car­ry­ing a cargo of wire­less net­work­ing equip­ment was mys­te­ri­ously hi­jacked this morn­ing on the M42. Po­lice ad­mit they have no leads.

Late-break­ing traf­fic re­port: Cen­tral Not­ting­ham has come to a stand­still tonight. A lorry has overturned on the A52 and shed its en­tire load of 4K com­puter screens. Po­lice can’t yet say when the road will re­open laughs. Be­low is a se­lec­tion of the best (worst?) jokes I’ve printed over the past 750-odd is­sues (suit­ably up­dated).

I wish you all the very best for 2017. From ev­ery­one who’s been in­volved with the mag, thanks for read­ing, thanks for sup­port­ing, and thanks for the de­bates (some heated!). You’re wel­come to stay in touch. The fo­rum, at fo­rum. mi­cromart.co.uk, is still live, and when the plug’s fi­nally pulled, many of the old crowd will mi­grate to fo­ru­mite.co.uk. I can also be con­tacted at ja­son@ask­ja­son.co.uk and www. facebook.com/ja­son­dal­li­son.

For now, though, dear read­ers, get out your sewing kits. Pre­pare for your sides to split. The fol­low­ing gags are so bad they’re ... er ... still bad... but are con­tin­u­ing to mon­i­tor the sit­u­a­tion.

News flash: A lorry car­ry­ing a cargo of Win­dows 10 Mo­bile hand­sets was hi­jacked this morn­ing in the Queensway tun­nel in Birm­ing­ham. Po­lice say the gang of thieves took ev­ery­thing of value then left the ve­hi­cle aban­doned. They ask the pub­lic to con­tact them im­me­di­ately if they wit­ness any­one sus­pi­cious try­ing to sell a Garmin GPS, a packet of cheese-and-onion sand­wiches, or a nov­elty dash­board Christ­mas tree.

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