He had to kiss my feet and call me master
to a log cabin in Montreal in Canada with my hubby. It was gorgeous and really secluded. It was near some woods and we had this big hot-tub outside.
In the evenings we would sit in there with a bottle of wine and after a couple of glasses we’d get all horny and end up having sex. It was so nice feeling the cold air around my bare boobs but all the warmth and bubbles on my bottom half, especially as I could feel them bubbling around me as I was grinding away on my man’s knob.
God, I wish we were back there now!
HELENA: Has anything clanging ever happened to NAME: Jenny Rudd AGE: 30 FROM: The Wirral OCCUPATION: Stay at home mum RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Married FAVE DRINK: Vodka FAVE FOOD: Chicken tikka masala FAVE FILM: The Godfather FAVE ACTOR: Al Pacino you when you’re between the sheets? JENNY: Does taking my clothes off count? That’s always pretty embarrassing. HELENA: Ha ha, yeah – hearhear! I once went through a phase of doing really loud fanny farts during sex. You sort of both do that awkward giggle, don’t you? But then when it keeps happening it’s just so awful. I think it’s because of the positions we were doing. He liked being on top a lot and I think that sort of thing is worse in that position. JENNY: Hmm that is a bit embarrassing! I can’t think of anything that bad. Oh no, wait a minute. My sister came to stay with us once and she’d gone out for the day to meet a friend. My husband and I had been dying for a shag, so the second she walked out the door we were tearing each other’s clothes off.
I pushed him back on the sofa and pulled down his jeans and was right in the middle of gobbling on his big hard cock when the door to the lounge opened and in she walked – with her friend in tow! They ran straight out of the room. I had to apologise to her later and we had a good laugh about it but I was so mortified. So was my hubby because she’d got a right eyeful of his cock!
JENNY: What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done in bed? HELENA: I once tied my man up to the radiator and left him there for hours when I went shopping. JENNY: Jesus, could you not have burnt him? HELENA: Well, I turned it right down before I went, so it wasn’t too hot. He’d sort of indicated he wanted to try it. We’d seen it in a porno and he said he thought it looked like fun.
So a few days later I bought some handcuffs, went home, tied him up and went out for a couple of hours. It was making me so horny knowing that he was there and couldn’t move until I got back. When I got in I made him beg me to release him. He had to kiss my feet and call me master. I was loving having all that power because normally he’s in charge, so it was a nice role reversal.
I unlocked him and we had the most mind-blowing sex. It lasted about two hours. We spent ages going down on each other and f*cking in lots of different positions. Oooh, it was very nice!
JENNY: I’m trying to think of something kinky. Oh yes, what about this. My man has a big thing for PVC underwear and he bought me a load a few years back.
It takes about an hour to squeeze myself in but it’s quite fun when I do. One of the things is this shiny crotchless catsuit. He loves it when I put it on and always begs me to sit on his face. He says it’s the feel of it that gets him going. If I even so much as say the word gusset he gets a hard-on. HELENA: Men aren’t they? JENNY: You’re not wrong!
are weird JENNY: Does your man like potting the pink or downing the brown, as they say in snooker. HELENA: Hey? What are you on about? JENNY: You must know what I mean – front or back-love! HELENA: Oh, I’m with you. Both, I think. He wouldn’t want to do me up the bum all the time I think, or at least I hope not. He’s pretty happy with the way things are up there. But no, he does nag me about once a month for a bit of bum fun. I usually allow it.
There’s ways of doing it right. Plus he’s not a bad hubby as far as they go so I like to keep him sweet. I don’t mind it too much. It’s a bit painful when it first goes in but once you get into a rhythm it’s not so bad. How about you then? Is your fella an arse bandit, so to speak? JENNY: Well he’s an arse bandit for me, hopefully not for any blokes. Yeah, we’re about the same, we do it every now and then, normally when I’m drunk. It’s not something I make a habit out of, or want him to expect all the time.
My advice to any ladies out there is get a few glasses of wine down you and you won’t even feel a thing!