String fire f*ck­ers up!

Midweek Sport - - TV GUIDE -

I CAN’T be­lieve how stupid some peo­ple are hav­ing just heard about the fires in Mi­jas, Spain.

I’ve got a place out there and I’ve been wor­ried sick as the fires aren’t too far away from it, and be­cause the area has been shut off by fire­fight­ers, no-one can check on it for me.

The only good thing is that when it was built I in­sisted on fire re­sis­tant breeze blocks, so hope­fully it should be ok.

I’ve heard that the fires were started de­lib­er­ately by id­iots who want to get at the po­lice. It makes me so an­gry! It’s just like the ri­ots we had over here. These dick­heads just don’t like see­ing peo­ple have nice things.

They can’t be ar­sed to go out and work and get things for them­selves. They want to trash things that de­cent peo­ple have worked hard for.

Two peo­ple have been killed and count­less an­i­mals have died for no rea­son at all.

If they catch these hor­ri­ble peo­ple they should string the f*ck­ers up. I’M feel­ing very guilty this week as I’ve some­how man­aged to MUR­DER a fox!

I was dis­traught. I only gave him a chicken car­cass to eat the other night and I woke up in the morn­ing to find him dead!

The RSPCA came round to col­lect him and told me he’d choked on a bone. Poor thing. But foxes are ver­min and can at­tack hu­mans.

Since my Luca plays out there, it’s prob­a­bly for the best. I WATCHED a pro­gramme the other day about squat­ters and I was just amazed at how cheeky they are.

This cou­ple were at their wits’ end be­cause a load of dropouts had taken over their posh house in Lon­don.

They called the po­lice, who couldn’t do any­thing ei­ther, which is just pa­thetic.

If I ever had any­one do that in my house, I’d drag them out kick­ing and scream­ing my­self. They wouldn’t mess with me! I HAD a r un-in with some cop­pers on Fri­day night.

My driver had just dropped me off and he got pulled over in my Mercedes for a ran­dom check.

He showed them his in­sur­ance doc­u­ments, and they ra­dioed to the DVLA to check on his li­cence.

Be­cause he had clocked up speed­ing points back in like 1997 and had a six month ban, they claimed he didn’t have a li­cence.

So he rang me at work in a right state telling me the po­lice were go­ing to IM­POUND my car.

I was livid! So I got my coat and went to meet him. When I got there 11 cop­pers, four cars, a riot van and a mo­tor­bike were wait­ing for me!

I know I can be a bit feisty but for f*ck’s sake!

They couldn’t have been nicer when they handed over my keys.

I think it might have been due to the fact I was dr essed in my sex­i­est heels and stock­ings and basque just like in this pic (left).

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