Wetter than an otter’s pocket
Porn dwarf Go-gos global
I’VE just been to the Lake District for a weekend’s walking.
OK, my idea of a good weekend used to be a lot of Belgian beer, some gibberish dust up the snotter, a couple of hours at the casino and a faceful of dripping whoreclunge. Now it’s hillwalking. Perhaps, at long last, I’m growing up. While away, I came up with a great idea for cash-strapped Britain — a way to save millions from the public purse.
The taxpayer-funded Met Office can forget measuring air pressure and wind direction and expensive supercomputer prediction models and all that guff.
To provide a forecast for Cumbria, just say “wet”.
Chances are, it will be spot on. Every time. hacking each other to pieces and of crocodiles feasting on the bloated corpses in rivers.
THAT, dear friends is ethnic cleansing.
It is just about the most horrific thing that could happen to a population.
Moving on a few dozen people who are breaking the law is most certainly NOT ethnic cleansing.
For the Dale Farm rabble rousers to bandy the expression around willy-nilly is an unforgivable disgrace.
Shame on them.
A COUPLE of weeks ago, our sister paper Sunday Sport ran a story about a Gordon Ramsay lookalike porn dwarf who was eaten by a badger.
It’s caused a bit of a kerfuffle. You get over one million hits if you type “Gordon Ramsay Sex Dwarf” into Google.
Now this isn’t boasting. Well, it is, a bit.
Because one of the people who has tweeted the tale is Jane Wiedlin.
For those of you who aren’t fans of Ken Bruce’s Popmaster on
Radio 2, Jane was a member of the Go-Gos, an all-female Yank rock band.
Belinda Carlisle was also in the line-up. Jane also sang Rush Hour , which was on my fave film’s soundtrack, Pretty Woman.