I may be older but I’m not cheesy, lad

Midweek Sport - - NEWS -

I FELT like a right old trout when I went out in Croy­don the other night — be­cause it was just full of kids!

I was in this bar and as I was try­ing to get to the loos this lad stopped me and tried to chat me up.

He was about 19 and re­ally cocky. He just put his hand in front of me to block my way and said: “How about I buy you a drink?”

I told him I was mar­ried and he called me a blagger! So I said: “Lis­ten I’ve got shoes and hand­bags older than you!”

In his favour he wouldn’t be­lieve me when I told him my real age, which was kind of him, but it did make me glad to be mar­ried!

The other thing I no­ticed is that the kids will dance to any old shit mu­sic.

They were all sup­posed to be re­ally cool and they were danc­ing to The Wanted!

When I used to go out club­bing you wouldn’t be seen dead danc­ing to cheesy mu­sic like that.

If I started bo­ogy­ing to the Spice Girls I knew it was time to go home!

Cen­tral I’LL be on Red­light

this and Mon­day on Sun­day 902,

Sky Chan­nels week on from 10pm til 948 and 911

5.30am. SINCE I’ve moved into my new house I’ve been tear­ing my hair out be­cause I can never get a bloody phone sig­nal.

I find it re­ally stress­ful to be hon­est be­cause I’m al­ways on edge wor­ry­ing if peo­ple have been try­ing to get hold of me.

I reckon we’re ad­dicted to our iPhones and Black­ber­rys in the same way that peo­ple are to booze and fags. It’s men­tal!

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