I may be older but I’m not cheesy, lad
I FELT like a right old trout when I went out in Croydon the other night — because it was just full of kids!
I was in this bar and as I was trying to get to the loos this lad stopped me and tried to chat me up.
He was about 19 and really cocky. He just put his hand in front of me to block my way and said: “How about I buy you a drink?”
I told him I was married and he called me a blagger! So I said: “Listen I’ve got shoes and handbags older than you!”
In his favour he wouldn’t believe me when I told him my real age, which was kind of him, but it did make me glad to be married!
The other thing I noticed is that the kids will dance to any old shit music.
They were all supposed to be really cool and they were dancing to The Wanted!
When I used to go out clubbing you wouldn’t be seen dead dancing to cheesy music like that.
If I started boogying to the Spice Girls I knew it was time to go home!
Central I’LL be on Redlight
this and Monday on Sunday 902,
Sky Channels week on from 10pm til 948 and 911
5.30am. SINCE I’ve moved into my new house I’ve been tearing my hair out because I can never get a bloody phone signal.
I find it really stressful to be honest because I’m always on edge worrying if people have been trying to get hold of me.
I reckon we’re addicted to our iPhones and Blackberrys in the same way that people are to booze and fags. It’s mental!