WHERE IN THE WORLD CAN I GO?

Midweek Sport - - NEWS -

WHERE are you sup­posed to go on hol­i­day?

I wanted to go to Mau­ri­tius, but then I read about that poor bloke be­ing at­tacked by a shark off nearby Sey­chelles.

Then I was think­ing of go­ing to Kenya, then re­alised how close it is to war torn So­ma­lia.

I was read­ing about that poor cou­ple, Ju­dith and David Teb­butt, who were kidnapped while on hol­i­day there.

David has been mur­dered and Ju­dith is still be­ing held by some crazed gang not far from where that other cou­ple who were kidnapped by pi­rates were held, Paul and Rachel Chan­dler

What re­ally ap­palled me is that there are aw­ful ru­mours that it was staff at the ho­tel they were stay­ing at who tipped off the gang that snatched them.

If true, it’s just dis­gust­ing. I mean, if you pay a for­tune to go to a lux­ury re­sort you ex­pect bet­ter than that don’t you?

It scares the shit out of me to be hon­est. I mean, I can look af­ter my­self here but I wouldn’t fancy my chances with the nut­ters out there.

Louts

And I was think­ing about go­ing to Dubai as well, but the Arabs can be a bit sniffy about girls with big boobs who like to go out, get drunk and lairy and give the odd flash, so I’d best steer clear of there.

So it looks like I’m go­ing to have to go to sod­ding Tener­ife with a load of lager louts try­ing to feel my fun­bags! Great!

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