WHERE IN THE WORLD CAN I GO?
WHERE are you supposed to go on holiday?
I wanted to go to Mauritius, but then I read about that poor bloke being attacked by a shark off nearby Seychelles.
Then I was thinking of going to Kenya, then realised how close it is to war torn Somalia.
I was reading about that poor couple, Judith and David Tebbutt, who were kidnapped while on holiday there.
David has been murdered and Judith is still being held by some crazed gang not far from where that other couple who were kidnapped by pirates were held, Paul and Rachel Chandler
What really appalled me is that there are awful rumours that it was staff at the hotel they were staying at who tipped off the gang that snatched them.
If true, it’s just disgusting. I mean, if you pay a fortune to go to a luxury resort you expect better than that don’t you?
It scares the shit out of me to be honest. I mean, I can look after myself here but I wouldn’t fancy my chances with the nutters out there.
And I was thinking about going to Dubai as well, but the Arabs can be a bit sniffy about girls with big boobs who like to go out, get drunk and lairy and give the odd flash, so I’d best steer clear of there.
So it looks like I’m going to have to go to sodding Tenerife with a load of lager louts trying to feel my funbags! Great!