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FOR­GIVE me if I don’t join the gen­eral cheer­ing and for-he’s-a-jolly-good-fel­low­ing ring­ing in David Cameron’s ears.

The Prime Min­is­ter re­turned from Brus­sels on Fri­day to a hero’s wel­come. The man who had sin­gle-hand­edly saved Bri­tain from be­ing squashed like a lame hedge­hog un­der the wheels of the Euro­pean jug­ger­naut. A new Churchill. A new Thatcher. With the great­est re­spect, Prime Min­is­ter… BOL­LOCKS!

If Cameron had thought he could get away with sign­ing the treaty ty­ing us closer to Europe, his biro would have been out of his pocket faster than Boris John­son’s cock comes out tyo play when he spots a pretty lady.

Cam said he was pro­tect­ing the fi­nan­cial in­dus­try in the City of Lon­don. A red her­ring the size of Moby Dick, this one.

Make no mis­take, he would have sold his fat cat pals in red braces down the river in an in­stant. Just like our fish­ing fleet was scut­tled when we signed up to the Com­mon Mar­ket 40 years ago.


In fact, it would have been a pop­u­lar move. Putting the boot into the bankers would have played to packed houses in the present cli­mate.

No, the real rea­son Cam did not put pen to pa­per is that his back­benchers, the pub­lic, the pop­u­lar press – and sev­eral mem­bers of his Cabi­net – would have gone batsh*t.

For him to have re­turned hav­ing shack­led us even tighter to the bank­rupt bas­ket case would have been po­lit­i­cal sui­cide.

He was sav­ing his min­is­te­rial mo­tor, not sav­ing Bri­tain.

Here’s the truth. Cameron, like all lead­ers of our main­stream par­ties, is pro-euro­pean. He sup­ports our con­tin­ued mem­ber­ship of the Euro­pean Union.

He sup­ports us be­ing a sig­na­tory to the Treaty of Rome, the ba­sis of the EU. And that states, in black and white, that mem­bers should forge an “ever closer union”.

That ul­ti­mately means mem­ber­ship of the euro, it means let­ting Ger­man bankers sign off our Bud­get be­fore Par­lia­ment gets a look-in. It means Euro­pean courts trump­ing our own.

The whole point of the EU is the de­struc­tion of the na­tion state, Bri­tain in­cluded.

They’ve not been sneaky about it – the aim is cen­tral to and ex­plic­itly stated in the Treaty of Rome.

Bri­tish politi­cians will not say this openly be­cause the Bri­tish peo­ple will not have it, and rightly so.

Even be­fore the cur­rent euro tur­moil erupted, we had no place in the Euro­pean Union. We should not have joined and, it is in­creas­ingly clear, they don’t want us as mem­bers.

Bri­tain has noth­ing to lose – and every­thing to gain – by get­ting out.

What we save on mem­ber­ship fees paid to the Euro­pean club could get our fi­nances back on track in four years. The leg­is­la­tion could be passed in a day.

But there is no party leader with the balls to do this, to risk the fury of the BBC and the chat­ter­ing po­lenta-munch­ing classes.

Labour’s De­nis Mac­shane, the fa­nat­i­cally pro-eu former Europe Min­is­ter, put it best. Last week, he said: “There is now lit­tle point in Bri­tain stay­ing in the EU. It is an his­toric turn­ing point and Bri­tain might as well get out now, as Europe’s fu­ture will be set­tled with­out us.”

No doubt he said it in the man­ner of a wife say­ing: “OK, you GO to the pub then, see if I care!” But he was spot on.

Will we hear David Cameron ut­ter those words? The day he does, I’ll suck off John Prescott at noon on West­min­ster Bridge. SPEAKER’S wife Sally Ber­cow and posh hand­i­crafts fan Kirsty All­sopp are hav­ing a bit of a spat on Twit­ter.

As Sir Harry of Hill would say: “Only one way to sort this out… FIGHT!!!”

In cus­tard, prefer­ably.

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