Well-hung hunk has given me a HUGE prob­lem

Wife loves my shaft in el­e­va­tor

Midweek Sport - - TV GUIDE -

Dear Natasha, THIS is not so much a prob­lem, but I thought you’d still like to hear about my new pervy pas­time.

Me and the mis­sus were hav­ing prob­lems in the bed­room so de­cided to spice up our sex life.

Af­ter trawl­ing the in­ter­net we found men­tion of peo­ple who get their rocks off by bonk­ing in lifts.

It sounds weird, and that was our ini­tial sen­ti­ment, but the next day we both agreed it sounded like fun.

So one Satur­day night we headed into town. We found a five-star ho­tel and had a quick drink in the bar be­fore mov­ing to the el­e­va­tor.

We pressed the but­ton for the top floor – 16th – and waited for the other guests to get out one by one.

Then, when the fi­nal one ex­ited on floor 11, we ripped each other’s clothes off and went at it like frus­trated rab­bits.

Now we can’t get enough of it and spend our free time cruis­ing tall build­ings, look­ing for suit­able shafts.

Do you think we are bonkers?

Natasha says:

Dear Natasha, EV­ERY girl dreams of meet­ing a bloke with a whop­ping wanger – or so I thought.

That’s be­cause I’ve started go­ing out with a fella and he has the most enor­mous John­son I have ever seen.

We met on a night out and he is a lovely lad. He treats me like a princess – open­ing doors, buy­ing me flow­ers and tak­ing me for swanky meals.

We took it slow to start with as we had both just come out of fairly long re­la­tion­ships and our emo­tions were a bit bruised.

That meant walks in the park and hold­ing hands in the cinema. But af­ter a month or so it was ob­vi­ous we were ready to take the re­la­tion­ship a step fur­ther.

So we or­gan­ised for him to come round to my flat one Fri­day night for a can­dlelit din­ner.

We both knew there was more on the menu than my fa­mous lasagne and bread and but­ter pud­ding.

He ar­rived bang on time and we set­tled down for some nice food in the ro­man­tic set­ting of my newly-dec­o­rated din­ing room.

The at­mos­phere was elec­tric as we were both an­tic­i­pat­ing what was to come later on.

Af­ter I had cleared the plates away into the kitchen, I sug­gested we move through to the sit­ting room and “get more com­fort­able”.

He gladly fol­lowed me onto the couch, where we kissed and cud­dled be­fore I de­cided to make the first move.

I inched my hand down to his crotch area and started to feel his twitch­ing bulge. At the time I didn’t pay much at­ten­tion to the fact that his jeans were nearly split­ting un­der the pres­sure – I just put it down to the fact that he re­ally fan­cied me.

He fi­nally plucked up his courage and slid his hand up my skirt and down the front of my knick­ers.

Our fum­blings car­ried on for about 10 min­utes – both us grind­ing against each other as the pas­sion got more and more in­tense.

Then it was time to get down to the main event.

I slid off the couch and told him to re­move his trousers.

He seemed a lit­tle hes­i­tant but I in­sisted and even gave him a help­ing hand with his belt and zip.

What came next will live long in my mem­ory, as he un­leashed what can only be de­scribed as a “mon­ster” from in­side his pants.

Weapon

I have seen smaller beasts in the python house at our lo­cal zoo!

I gasped and even drew away, so shocked was I by his ap­pendage.

And that ob­vi­ously stirred up some bad mem­o­ries for him be­cause he shrunk back and started to cry.

I say shrunk, but his weapon of mass dis­trac­tion was still block­ing out the light.

We spent the rest of the evening talk­ing and it turns out that his ex-girl­friend dumped him be­cause of the size of his love sausage.

I’m wor­ried our re­la­tion­ship will end up fol­low­ing this tragic path too. Please help!

Natasha says:

BCF, Daven­try

EACH to their own. At least you’ll have no prob­lems get­ting it up. EMAIL: agony@sun­daysport.co.uk

OR MAIL TO: Agony, Sun­day Sport, City View

House, 5 Union Street, Ard­wick, Manch­ester,

M12 4JD

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.