I LOVE winter – but I hate one side effect of the cold weather.
Loads of people suffer with chapped lips – but it’s my nipples that suffer.
I love my nips so make sure I look after them by smothering them in cream every night to make sure they are protected.
And if there’s a hunky man around the help me rub it in, that’s even better!
I could do with a hand tonight, actually – anyone fancy volunteering?
A DWARF asks a girl: “What do you say to a little f***?” She says: “Hello there, Little F***.”