That swing­ing news has Kranked up night­mares

Midweek Sport - - NEWS -

THE KRANKIES were swingers. The Krankies were swingers. The Krankies were swingers.

No mat­ter how many times you say it, it still feels wronger than spy­ing on a nun hav­ing a sh*t.

If you told me next door’s cat was a de­mon from Hell with de­signs on eat­ing my soul, I doubt I’d be more ap­palled.

Imag­ine watch­ing some­one with very bad, bro­ken teeth chew­ing on poly­styrene. That’s the sort of shud­der that went down the Deano spine when I saw the in­com­pre­hen­si­ble news.

Around this time of year, when I was a nip­per, it was hard to get to sleep – such was my ex­cite­ment at Christ­mas ap­proach­ing.

Now I dare not sleep, for fear of the dreams that may come. The hor­ror…the hor­ror!

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