THOSE WERE THE DAYS MY FRIENDS

Midweek Sport - - SPORT -

IT’S that time of year when we sur­vey the wreck­age of the pre­vi­ous 12 months and look for­ward with fear and trep­i­da­tion to the fu­ture.

Of course, the main event of 2011 was the re­birth of Sun­day Sport, and emer­gence of its Mid­week sis­ter, af­ter a col­lec­tion of f***wits, fo­cus group an­a­lysts and over­paid c*ntsul­tants tried their damn­d­est to kill off your favourite pa­per.

Our re­vival is made all the sweeter be­cause the pa­per that hates Sun­day Sport more than any other, The Guardian, is it­self head­ing for the rocks.

Shouldn’t gloat though. Not too much, any­way.

But I’ve had a trawl through the cut­tings from 2011 and pulled out, if not the best bits, the least-bad bits. FOR the first time since Amer­ica res­cued a few Ger­man sci­en­tists and ig­nored their role in the Holo­caust, the western world is go­ing back­wards in the old space race.

The re­tire­ment of the Space Shut­tle, with no re­place­ment in sight, was a sad day – which will seem sad­der still when our planet is ringed by Chi­nese death ray satel­lites. THOU­SANDS of pounds and man hours were wasted in the bat­tle to make pub­lic the fact that a Welsh­man called Ryan Giggs had sex with a Welsh­woman called Imo­gen Thomas.

When Giggs was even­tu­ally named in Par­lia­ment, it was hailed a tri­umph. Later in the year, an in­cor­rect re­port in

news­pa­per led to the clos­ing down and the govern­ment set­ting up an in­quiry that could lead to the end of the free press.

What’s more, Hugh Grant and Steve Coogan some­how be­came “he­roes”. Not a good year for the press on the whole. Glad I’m a low-level pornog­ra­pher and not a proper jour­nal­ist.

He ut­tered the phrase: “Squeal like a pig” dur­ing the in­fa­mous bum­ming scene.

Quite pos­si­bly the great­est chat-up line ever.

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