I’VE A FU-FU 2012 PLANS

Midweek Sport - - LAID BARE -

HERE are my New Year’s Res­o­lu­tions for 2012 – I think you’ll like them, and there’s even a few that you fel­las can fol­low too!

Keep up with how I’m get­ting on with them by fol­low­ing my col­umn ev­ery week in Mid­week Sport or on Twit­ter @lin­sey_­dawn. 1. I’m go­ing to go to the gym at LEAST three times a week.

Yes, I know I don’t need to, but ap­par­ently it’s good for stress and mood swings. 2. On the same theme, I’m go­ing to play with my­self at least five times a day.

This is also good for my sunny dis­po­si­tion! 3. I’m go­ing to try to wake up ev­ery morn­ing in a good mood and not be grumpy.

I think hav­ing one of my five a day (w***s, not fruit) will help. 4. In­stead of wast­ing ages de­cid­ing what Gstring to wear, I’m go­ing to go out knick­er­less at least twice a week.

That’ll mean as less wash­ing so it’ll be good for the environment. 5. Va­ri­ety is the spice of life, so I’m go­ing to buy my­self a new sex toy ev­ery month.

There are mar­vel­lous things out there and it’s only right that I get to try them! 6. I also want to have sex in a new lo­ca­tion ev­ery month – it gets bor­ing in the bed­room, doesn’t it? 7. I shall try to be more kind and thought­ful to my hus­band Mark.

For ex­am­ple, I am plan­ning to shave my la­dy­gar­den into a heart for Valen­tine’s Day. 8. I’ve al­ways wanted to do a boy/girl adult movie so I’m go­ing to work on Mark to do one with me. 9. Also, er...squirt­ing. Ap­par­ently there is a cer­tain kind of or­gasm ladies can have where they ejac­u­late like men. I’m mak­ing it my mis­sion to have one of these next year. 10. And fi­nally, just as a bit of a gig­gle, I’d also like to learn to fire Mal­te­sers out of my fu-fu! Maybe I can do it in time for Easter as a treat for my man!

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.