I’VE A FU-FU 2012 PLANS
HERE are my New Year’s Resolutions for 2012 – I think you’ll like them, and there’s even a few that you fellas can follow too!
Keep up with how I’m getting on with them by following my column every week in Midweek Sport or on Twitter @linsey_dawn. 1. I’m going to go to the gym at LEAST three times a week.
Yes, I know I don’t need to, but apparently it’s good for stress and mood swings. 2. On the same theme, I’m going to play with myself at least five times a day.
This is also good for my sunny disposition! 3. I’m going to try to wake up every morning in a good mood and not be grumpy.
I think having one of my five a day (w***s, not fruit) will help. 4. Instead of wasting ages deciding what Gstring to wear, I’m going to go out knickerless at least twice a week.
That’ll mean as less washing so it’ll be good for the environment. 5. Variety is the spice of life, so I’m going to buy myself a new sex toy every month.
There are marvellous things out there and it’s only right that I get to try them! 6. I also want to have sex in a new location every month – it gets boring in the bedroom, doesn’t it? 7. I shall try to be more kind and thoughtful to my husband Mark.
For example, I am planning to shave my ladygarden into a heart for Valentine’s Day. 8. I’ve always wanted to do a boy/girl adult movie so I’m going to work on Mark to do one with me. 9. Also, er...squirting. Apparently there is a certain kind of orgasm ladies can have where they ejaculate like men. I’m making it my mission to have one of these next year. 10. And finally, just as a bit of a giggle, I’d also like to learn to fire Maltesers out of my fu-fu! Maybe I can do it in time for Easter as a treat for my man!