HAMMER TIME FOR JAMIE
JAMIE REDKNAPP is in secret talks with MC Hammer over a plan to buy the US rapper’s famous wide pants. The Sky pundit has also been in touch with Madness, just to see if they actually know anyone with baggy trousers.
The former Liverpool man has finally cottoned on to the fact that no one wants to see his meat and two veg – particularly when they’re cooking their own on a Sunday.
The former Spurs ace has now promised to wear trousers that fit. And to stop saying “literally”. Just to be sure, he’s got to check with Ruud Gullit first though. CARLOS TEVEZ was celebrating last night after Manchester Council took the shock decision to award the Argie striker the KEYS TO THE CITY. The forward, who had spells with Man City and Man United, left both clubs with a cloud over his head after a string of bust-ups with players and managers.
And the scar-necked goal-getter was quick to put the boot into Manchester itself too, slamming its weather and culture. But all that was before Tevez’s ill-fated return to Argentina with Boca Juniors. The former West Ham man soon realised being closer to his missus and his sprog wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
And now, after a shock loan switch to Stalybridge Celtic and the purchase of a penthouse in the city, Tevez is regularly seen in Manchester sporting a full replica City kit, necking bottles of brown and perfecting his Liam Gallagher walk.
Asked last night if he loved the city, he replied: “I’m madferrit our kid! Top one, nice one.”
ECSTATIC: David Moyes