Midweek Sport - - SPORT -

MARIO BALOTELLI has promised to stop ar­gu­ments across the planet af­ter he was amaz­ingly awarded the No­bel Peace Prize. The con­tro­ver­sial Man City striker (right), whose charge sheet in­cludes train­ing ground scraps with Micah Richards and Jerome Boateng, pos­ing in an AC Mi­lan shirt (de­spite hav­ing played for In­ter) and throw­ing a dart at a youth player, an­nounced he had turned over a new leaf.

And, af­ter hand­ing out cash to the needy of Manch­ester while dressed as Fa­ther Christ­mas, Mario is well on the way to fol­low­ing in the foot­steps of his new hero – Gandhi.

He said yes­ter­day: “In­nit.” FER­NANDO TOR­RES has been ap­pointed striker ex­traor­di­naire by PM David Cameron.

The Chelsea hit­man scored 100 goals last sea­son as Chelsea fi­nally won the Cham­pi­ons League. Af­ter a con­fi­dence-sap­ping start to life at Stam­ford Bridge, Blues play­ers and fans now hail him as the best goal man they’ve ever had.

And the bar­gain hit­man has now been granted the hon­orary ti­tle as the Govern­ment weighs into the drive to find English kids that can score goals.

Smil­ing Tor­res, whose stats show he hasn’t missed a chance for 12 months, said: “I’m so glad I moved to Chelsea. It was the mak­ing of me.” HARRY RED­KNAPP has banned Sky from hi­jack­ing his car win­dow dur­ing Jan­uary. The Spurs man­ager says he’s sick of be­ing forced to open his door by the me­dia gi­ant’s foot­ball news chan­nel to com­ment on play­ers that he thinks are “triffic”. White Hart Lane gaffer Red­knapp, who re­cently fined the club’s ket­tle for call­ing their pot black, said: “I hate these man­agers who speak out about other club’s play­ers – they should show some re­spect. “I never speak out about my tar­gets, and I cer­tainly never talk about ref­er­ees.” The FA yes­ter­day con­firmed it is still in­ves­ti­gat­ing Red­knapp for speak­ing out against ref­er­ees.

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