The name’s Es­sex...joey Es­sex

Midweek Sport - - NEWS -

re­turned to ITV2 with a new James Bond-style open­ing, all sil­hou­et­ted girls fall­ing into mar­tini glasses. It is like

Or, if you have any sense,

The high­light of the first episode was Jess Wright and Nanny Pat rid­ing a tan­dem. If you are not fa­mil­iar with the jar­gon, they are old bikes which can be rid­den by two peo­ple at once. And they went for a ride on a tan­dem.

Mean­while, dimwit Joey has started drink­ing a spe­cial tea, us­ing leaves picked by trained mon­keys. It does not taste great but it could be a job prospect for him once the telly work dries up.

Joey ( was the berk who gave us the word “ream”, mean­ing good.

His lat­est gift to the English lan­guage is a “salty potato”, which means a hot girl.

In Es­sex that makes per­fect sense, as the girls are like jacket pota­toes: golden brown on the out­side (prob­a­bly a bit crispy), fluffy on the in­side, and rather bland....but they’re OK if you give them a fill­ing.

Maybe that is what the Bond theme was about. Buy them a cou­ple a drinks and you’ll get a li­cence to fill.

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