The name’s Essex...joey Essex
returned to ITV2 with a new James Bond-style opening, all silhouetted girls falling into martini glasses. It is like
Or, if you have any sense,
The highlight of the first episode was Jess Wright and Nanny Pat riding a tandem. If you are not familiar with the jargon, they are old bikes which can be ridden by two people at once. And they went for a ride on a tandem.
Meanwhile, dimwit Joey has started drinking a special tea, using leaves picked by trained monkeys. It does not taste great but it could be a job prospect for him once the telly work dries up.
Joey ( was the berk who gave us the word “ream”, meaning good.
His latest gift to the English language is a “salty potato”, which means a hot girl.
In Essex that makes perfect sense, as the girls are like jacket potatoes: golden brown on the outside (probably a bit crispy), fluffy on the inside, and rather bland....but they’re OK if you give them a filling.
Maybe that is what the Bond theme was about. Buy them a couple a drinks and you’ll get a licence to fill.