JIMMY CARR

Midweek Sport - - SPORT -

“I got into com­edy as I thought it would be a pussy mag­net. But I never thought I’d meet a c**t like you.”

“Where’s your girl­friend? Out­side graz­ing, I pre­sume.” “Could some­body put some­thing in her mouth be­fore I do. Be­cause I need a sh*t.” “Can we get some crayons and a menu for this guy to colour in please?” “Were you born this stupid or did some­one punch you in the el­bow when you were pick­ing your nose?” “Madam, you look like a Page 3 model. Ad­mit­tedly it’s Page 3 of “Look it’s all right to do­nate your brain to med­i­cal sci­ence, but shouldn’t you have waited un­til you died?” “Sorry, I can’t un­der­stand what you’re say­ing. I’m wear­ing a moron fil­ter.” “Did you watch

as a kid? Well, which f***ing win­dow do you want to go through?” “I thought I told you stay in the car and bark at strangers, YOU UGLY C**T!”

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