WITH HOLLY KENT I’ve never felt so rich since I found my new girlfriend
Dear Holly, VALENTINE’S Day is coming up and I’d like your opinion on a gift I’m thinking of giving my girlfriend.
She’s a dream and I’m really lucky to have her. She’s blonde, has a very big bust, is slim and likes to wear tiny dresses which just about cover her bottom.
I can barely believe my luck, given that I’m not all that tall, about five stone overweight, bald and over 40.
But I met her as she stood outside a club having a cigarette at two in the morning. She looked fairly cold and I pulled up in my new Bentley, wound down the window and asked her if she was alright.
She jumped in even before I’d asked her, but I didn’t mind because her skirt rode up so far as she sat down I could her knickers.
“Let’s go back to yours,” she said, even though we hadn’t yet introduced ourselves. So I drove off and headed to my house on the outskirts of town.
As the electric gates slid open and we made our way up the drive to the main entrance, she seemed to me to look a lot cheerier than she had done a short while earlier.
I led her in and asked her to make herself comfortable in the main lounge. I let Cuthbertson mix us a cocktail then told him he could retire, which he did with an inexplicable wink at me.
As the log fire blazed, we sat together and talked, me telling her about how my international software firm was going from strength to strength, she telling me about how she’d suddenly got fed up with her boyfriend, who didn’t seem to be going anywhere as a footballer in a lowly league.
I’ll confess I was feeling a bit shaky, not having had too much experience with the fair sex. So when she reached across and put her hand on the top of my thigh, leaned forward so I could see right down her top and looked at me with an expression I’ve never seen before, I felt a great deal of warmth.
Her hand started working up and down over my groin area and before I knew it she had taken Mr Chipper out of my underpants and doing extraordinary things with him with her mouth and hands.
I didn’t really know what to do, except stumble to the loo with my trousers round my ankles for some tissue to wipe up the inevitable mess I made on the settee’s dark velvet upholstery.
I was mortified but she didn’t seem to mind at all, taking off all her clothes so I could see her fabulous body, then climbing on me so I could slide into her
We coupled for quite a time, after which I insisted she stay in my bedroom suite, which she did.
I’ve seen her a few times since and I’m fairly certain that I’m in love, even though she seems quite secretive about her past and what she does.
Anyway, I’m going to buy her a big diamond necklace for the big day. Will that be enough?
IT might just do! SEEMS like you have a healthy appetite for work and sex. Take a few more days off!