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ARSENE WENGER must go. An­dres Vil­las-boas must go. Their time is up and that dou­ble de­par­ture is the only way to rip up the tags of “cri­sis club” that have been placed on Arse­nal and Chelsea.

The fat lady has sung, stripped, had a good­night sh*t and is sleep­ing soundly.

Fat wal­lies with lap­tops are quot­ing their sources in the game, so that’s that. Game over – join the dole queue, boys.

London’s call­ing for two new man­agers, but why?

I do a lit­tle bit of sick in my mouth ev­ery time I read these sto­ries. Where do all the dress­ing rooms that man­agers lose end up?

Is there a lost dress­ing room of­fice? Will I trip over one the next time I’m in the Big Smoke?

It’s never the play­ers’ fault, is it?

Yet it’s the play­ers who are cosy­ing up to the scribes to gen­er­ate these sh*t-stir­ring sto­ries in the first place.

And it’s the play­ers un­der­per­form­ing on the pitch that has got the pigs sniff­ing at the trough for an­other sack­ing. ow about these mil­lion­aires pull their socks up and try a bit harder where they can make a dif­fer­ence – on the pitch.

How about they grow a pair, get stuck in and lis­ten to their man­ager’s in­struc­tions in­stead of act­ing like Kevin The Teenager and whinge­ing on the shoul­der of the near­est hack?

The fin­ger point­ing at man­agers in foot­ball is tire­some. And the fre­quency of it is a sure sign that player power has gone too far. If

HWenger left Arse­nal to­mor­row, there’d be a queue of clubs longer than Whit­ney Hous­ton’s last line of Bo­li­vian march­ing pow­der will­ing to give “The Pro­fes­sor” a job.

They might give him a bit of money, too. Real money, and not this mys­te­ri­ous pot of gold that ap­par­ently re­mains un­spent in some deep, dark corner of the Emi­rates sta­dium. As for Wenger’s re­place­ment – Pep Guardi­ola has laugh­ably been linked to the Arse­nal job.

And I’ll have some of what they were smok­ing when they wrote that!

On to Villa-boas. Ro­man Abramovich was so con­vinced of his pow­ers he forked out £13.2mil­lion to prise him from Porto.

Now he’s seem­ingly on the verge of ax­ing his sixth man­ager. nd all be­cause Vil­las-boas doesn’t have the power to make John Terry, Frank Lam­pard and Di­dier Drogba young again.

If AVB goes, the next man will face ex­actly the same sit­u­a­tion. Per­haps the boys in blue who step onto the Stam­ford Bridge pitch should stop whis­per­ing be­hind their boss’s back and look in the mir­ror.

Their egos may tell them oth­er­wise, but they’re not Peter Pan.

Chelsea need fresh new blood on the play­ing staff, not in the man­ager’s of­fice. And the same goes for Arse­nal.

But hey, let’s ig­nore all that – that’s not where the show’s at. Get the chop­per out, chair­man, it’s all the man­ager’s fault…


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