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Will keep Frank Lam­pard on­side.

Told OK mag­a­zine she knows off­side rule.

She’s pretty di­plo­macy – if you have worked has a ne­go­tia­tor in the for mer Y ugoslavia, Rwanda or North­ern Ire­land that will be an ad­van­tage. Salary ne­go­tiable – not r elated to suc­cess and will be paid in full at the time of in­evitable fail­ure.

All ap­pli­cants should com­plete this for m in no more than 25 words and send to Chelsea Foot­ball Club, Stam­ford Bridge, London by Fri­day March 18th.

Any new coach com­ing to take over the role faces a daunt­ing chal­lenge – with in­fight­ing, a group of older play­ers des­per­ate to ce­ment their place in the team and an owner with an itchier trig­ger fin­ger than Billy The Kid with ec­szma.


Some in­sid­ers say that player power is to blame with a frac­tured dress­ing room and se­nior play­ers like John Terry and Frank Lam­pard wield­ing too much power.

But fear not Chelsea fans, our in­ves­tiga­tive jour­nal­ists have been in ac­tion to dis­cover just how the club are go­ing about find­ing the re­plac­ment.

We’ve man­aged to get our hands on the job ad­vert be­ing pre­pared and the man­age­ment team’s pre­ferred can­di­dates.

Cries a lot. New­cas­tle sup­porter.

Ash­ley might be un­happy. She’s a girl. No foot­ball ex­pe­ri­ence.

Wheel­chair might get stuck in the pitch.

Would John Terry think he is a ro­bot?

SPLIT: AVB and Chelsea owner

No man­age­rial ex­pe­ri­ence.


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