Fat’s the way to do it, fella!

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CHAR­ITY show Let’s Dance for Sport Re­lief is fa­mous for men wear­ing frocks.

Who could for­get Robert Webb as the chick from Flash­dance, Ru­fus Hound as Ch­eryl Cole, or Rus­sell Kane as Bey­once?

All clas­sic mo­ments – but none came close to Satur­day’s heat, which saw a chap groov­ing in a flow­ing scar­let dress to the Bee Gee’s hit You Should Be Danc­ing.

For ex­tra chuck­les, he had not even both­ered to shave his five o’clock shadow!

I must ad­mit I’d not re­ally heard of him be­fore but ap­par­ently he was a de­cent javelin thrower back in the day.

Ei­ther way, he de­serves our re­spect and ad­mi­ra­tion for be­ing such a good sport.

Fa­tima Whit­bread, I salute you, sir!

Other high­lights of the show were Roland Rivron’s rou­tine to Fat­boy Slim’s Weapon of Choice (get your money on it to win this Satur­day), judge Lee Nel­son slip­ping w*nk­ing gags onto BBC1 prime time, and come­di­ennes Wat­son and Oliver fail­ing to raise a smirk do­ing Torvill and Dean’s fa­mous Bolero ice dance rou­tine.

It felt like they had trans­ported them­selves to Sarajevo in 1984. If only it could have been Sarajevo in 1994. Prefer­ably dur­ing a par­tic­u­larly heavy shelling. THERE was a rum bunch on Fri­day’s

which was set in Stock­port. Alis­tair was a minc­ing bank clerk who reck­oned he did not fit the gay stereo­type. He said that shortly be­fore try­ing to “jazz up” a Swiss Roll by spray­ing it gold. It looked like one of Lib­er­ace’s turds.

Then there was Sa­muel, who was orig­i­nally from Mary­land, USA, “where we pride our­selves on pro­vid­ing the best crabs in the world”.

He ob­vi­ously hasn’t met any Wythen­shawe yet.

Gil­lian hated the idea of be­ing fa­mous. You have noth­ing to worry about, luv – un­less we bring back cir­cus freak shows.

And spunky hair­dresser Amy was of­fi­cially a Lady. Sounds im­pres­sive – but in Stock­port that just means she’ll wait for the bus stop to empty be­fore hav­ing a p*ss. TOP Gear rounded off the se­ries by tak­ing the p*ss out of golf bores.

They did so only AF­TER bor­row­ing a £5.6m Fer­rari from Chris Evans, the Ra­dio 2 DJ, car en­thu­si­ast and renowned golf bore.

Chris keeps his Fer­rari col­lec­tion in a pris­tine garage, where the vin­tage mo­tors are treated to clas­si­cal tunes from an au­to­matic pi­ano.

I won­der what mu­sic he would play to a bunch of clapped out old bangers. Ra­dio 2, per­haps?

Speak­ing of mu­sic, the final celebrity guest was gui­tar leg­end Slash, from Guns n Roses.

He drove his lap like a se­dated pen­sioner, barely trou­bling its sus­pen­sion at all. Per­haps he did not want any­one to say: “Look! The axle rose!” Sorry. “I HAVE got two peo­ple in my red area and three more wait­ing to join me!”

Sounds like a stan­dard Satur­day night for Dale Win­ton on shoddy new BBC1 game show

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