AGONY IS BROUGHT TO YOU IN ASSOCIATION WITH
DO YOU HAVE A SEX PROBLEM? BRITAIN’S TOP EROTIC AUTHOR ANSWERS YOUR PROBLEMS
BRITAIN’S most outrageous writer is here to answer your sex problems.
Vikki Dark caused a sensation with her hit book
And, although the author is keeping her identity a strict secret, she’ll be answering one reader letter in
Dear Vikki, I AM a 70-year old gentleman who has worked hard to build a good life for my wife and I. Our kids have all flown the nest and we’re financially OK.
We have reached the stage where we can relax and enjoy ourselves, so I suggested to the missus we take a twilight honeymoon to Mauritius or the Seychelles.
Unfortunately, my wife isn’t in agreement, preferring to spend the days visiting friends and the nights falling asleep midway through Coronation Street. The thing is, Vikki, I feel a bit gutted about this state of affairs, so when she took herself off to the bingo as usual one Wednesday evening I found a lady parlour to visit.
The girls were gorgeous but I know my limits in the bedroom and I was out of Viagra as I haven’t needed it for years, so I picked a really sexy, busty blonde, paid her the fee and got my head between her legs.
What happened next was not was I was expecting; the young filly giggled as I must have tickled her and a bit of wee came out. Surprisingly the taste of it gave me a full blown stiffy, so I asked the girl nicely if she could bend over, which she did and had a truly wonderful time.
Since then I regularly take a trip out every Wednesday visiting all the local brothels, choosing different hotties to do that which guarantees the old boy shoots up. I have to say I’ve brought a few of them to orgasm; I can tell from their howls.
The only problem is, I found out that they call me the ‘wee’ man. Sometimes I’m walking around the town with my wife and I think people sniggering. Am I being paranoid, Vikki?
Maurice, Cleethorpes. MY fella is 25 and I’m 18.
He recently went to work abroad for a few months and I enjoyed some unexpected romance on the side while on holiday with a friend.
I met a bloke who was the same age as me and we went skinnydipping.
We swam to a secluded beach where he rubbed his naked body all over me — with a stonking hard-on.
I grabbed his stiff cock and rubbed frantically at it – hoping to make him explode.
And I was feeling so randy I couldn’t resist lying back while he slid into me. I’d never been shagged in the sea before as my boyfriend can’t swim.
But as we lay in the shallow surf he thrust himself right into me.
Most lads his age would have orgasmed straight away but he held himself back until we climaxed together.
My love life has now returned to normal with my boyfriend but my holiday fella keeps texting and begging to meet up again. Should I? RS, North
Dear Maurice, Thank you for coming to me with this. It sounds like you have strong, pent-up sexual frustrations and the slightest taste of female in your mouth is revitalising the buck in you.
I’d suggest using mouthwash afterwards and saving the hard-on for when you get home.
Ask the missus to try on a sexy baby doll and treat her to a seeing-to once in a while; it might change her mind about that break. If that fails, visit places further out of the area!
Love Vikki x
IF you are open-minded about sex, get yourself an invite.
Dear Morgan, each week.
Email her now at Morgan says, POP your pinny on and make your own f***ing tea. Morgan
says, GO for it, girl – he sounds