Now good guys are the nut­ters

Midweek Sport - - NEWS -

The re­turn of BBC1’S

saw a grue­some mas­sacre in a farm shop: the owner stabbed to death, his daugh­ter raped and burned, his grand­son suf­fo­cated.

Those or­ganic foodie types can get quite nasty if they catch you sell­ing Turkey Twiz­zlers, huh?

No, I’m jok­ing. The cul­prit was not into whole foods, although he was def­i­nitely a bit nutty.

The trou­ble was that the cops and foren­sic pathol­o­gists try­ing to track him down were even nut­tier.

Fol­low this if you can – the head of a pri­vate foren­sics lab­o­ra­tory kept a dead junkie in his home freezer for ten years, us­ing her DNA to send the cops on a wild goose chase af­ter a non-ex­is­tent fe­male se­rial killer dubbed The Wraith.

As if that would hap­pen! For a start, where did he put her when it was time to de-ice the freezer? My neigh­bours will pop the odd bag of peas in theirs for me but they would def­i­nitely draw the line at a naked, tat­tooed bag­head.

One fe­male cop, DI Ginny Gray, was driven so mad by the fruit­less search that she went all “West Mid­lands Se­ri­ous Crime Squad” on the farm shop mur­der sus­pect, tor­tur­ing him into nam­ing The Wraith.

The other one, DSI Tom Byrne (Vin­cent Re­gan) had ap­par­ently gone so doolally, he could not help i mper­son­at­ing fiery MP Ge­orge Gal­loway.

It was a rip­ping yarn – one of those twisty-turny plots where you are never quite sure who you can trust.

Well, I say never. This be­ing the BBC, it was al­ways likely that the preg­nant Asian de­tec­tive was go­ing to be a goody and the vil­lain would turn out to be the pompous, mid­dle-class white man.

Still, what bet­ter way to round off the week­end than imag­in­ing a fam­ily be­ing bru­tally slain then gaw­ping at their charred corpses?

Any­thing is bet­ter than think­ing about go­ing back to work, I sup­pose.

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