Give the public the loon they want

Midweek Sport - - BATCHELOR ON THE BOX -

AN­OTHER good week on The Ap­pren­tice saw the teams try­ing to in­vent new fit­ness regimes.

The win­ners did a 1980s-themed work­out with space hop­pers and hula-hoops.

“I don’t keep up with these things,” barked Sugar. “Is that back in at the mo­ment?”

Don’t get too ex­cited, Al. It is just the fash­ion and mu­sic that is back in – no-one wants to buy Am­strad com­put­ers again.

The star of the task was Azhar Sid­dique, who fronted the work­out film wear­ing a pair of red shorts which even Kylie Minogue might deem too skimpy.

“Do you want to talk about the pack­age?” asked a stern-look­ing woman from the gym chain Fit­ness First.

Oh give him a break, love. He is a “re­frig­er­a­tion en­tre­pre­neur” by trade – he was prob­a­bly just a bit cold. BBC3 les­bian drama

is not like the ‘les­bian dra­mas’ I grew up watch­ing on VHS. Where’s the bit where the wash­ing ma­chine re­pair­man walks in and says “Looks like you ladies could use some help”?

Come on, BBC. At least try to make it re­al­is­tic! MORE Bri­tain’s that Si­mon Cow­ell is los­ing his touch with au­di­ence ex­pec­ta­tions.

“You don’t pay money to see some­one ner­vous,” he in­sisted.

Oh yeah? What about public ex­e­cu­tions?

To be fair, he did sat­isfy our need for an­other Goldie Che­ung, the Chi­nese ding­bat who ev­i­dence on

Got Tal­ent quit last year’s se­ries in the crazy be­lief that the show was mock­ing her.

This year’s Tina Turner-belch­ing fruit­loop is a Colom­bian called La Chica Latina.

“You’ve got a fire in­side you,” said Cow­ell. I don’t know about that but she cer­tainly looks like she might leave you with a burn­ing sen­sa­tion.

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