AVE UR WINGERS! Os­borne’s down­turn blamed as sex par­ties fall flat


GE­ORGE Os­borne has been blamed for a col­lapse in the num­ber of sex-mad cou­ples SWING­ING.

Ex­perts say that the Chan­cel­lor’s dou­ble-dip re­ces­sion has caused a ‘Swingo­nomic Down­turn’.

Fig­ures show the credit crunch is chip­ping away at the lusty life­styles of hun­dreds of thou­sands of wife-swap­pers in the UK.

And many com­plained that their swing­ing days might be com­ing to an end if the present re­ces­sion did not end soon.

The on­line sur­vey, which quizzed 4,560 reg­u­lar swingers, noted: “Lib­er­ated life­styles could well be badly hit by the cur­rent col­lapse. It is all very de­press­ing.”


In their anx­i­eties, many of the swap­pers – thought to num­ber at least two mil­lion in the UK – ex­pressed real con­cern that their raunchy bed­hop­ping plea­sure lev­els were in dan­ger.

Some said they were leav­ing contact web­sites which charged fees be­cause of cost. Paid-for ad­verts in swing mag­a­zines were also deemed too pricey.

Many who were mar­ried or in part­ner­ships and who had chil­dren moaned that they could not af­ford ex­pen­sive babysit­ters – a ne­ces­sity be­cause they could not “swing at home”. Ho­tels used for the naughty knicker-drop­ping assig­na­tions were also on the ‘No’ list due to cost.

The sur­vey noted: “For some swingers, es­pe­cially those with kids, hav­ing play­mates over to the house is not an op­tion.

The ho­tel room is now an eco­nomic black hole of swing­ing.

Vis­its to restau­rants and nightspots were also deemed “too ex­pen­sive” for many – par­tic­u­larly for hus­bands who were expected to wine and dine other men’s wives be­fore bed­ding them.

Fe­male sex rev­ellers ex­pressed ma­jor con­cerns about the on­go­ing costs of their ‘ dress-for-sex’ wear, in­clud­ing the fre­quent re­place­ment of lad­dered stock­ings, ‘play’ dresses, ex­pen­sive and al­lur­ing lin­gerie, and saucy high heels.

The re­port – ‘ Swing­ing and The Credit Crunch’ – noted: “The eco­nomic cri­sis need not be sound­ing the death knell of swing­ing. But hard times are un­doubt­edly here, and not in the way we would hope.”

Reg­u­lar swinger Richie Snaith of Crewe, Cheshire, said: “There has cer­tainly been a down­turn in the num­ber of peo­ple plac­ing ad­verts, and some of the clubs are qui­eter, too.

“It’s a sur­prise re­ally, as a good gang bang is one of the ways to dis­pel the gloom of re­morse­less eco­nomic woe.”

COCKY: But Ge­orge Os­borne should heed swingers’ warn­ings

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