AVE UR WINGERS! Osborne’s downturn blamed as sex parties fall flat
GEORGE Osborne has been blamed for a collapse in the number of sex-mad couples SWINGING.
Experts say that the Chancellor’s double-dip recession has caused a ‘Swingonomic Downturn’.
Figures show the credit crunch is chipping away at the lusty lifestyles of hundreds of thousands of wife-swappers in the UK.
And many complained that their swinging days might be coming to an end if the present recession did not end soon.
The online survey, which quizzed 4,560 regular swingers, noted: “Liberated lifestyles could well be badly hit by the current collapse. It is all very depressing.”
In their anxieties, many of the swappers – thought to number at least two million in the UK – expressed real concern that their raunchy bedhopping pleasure levels were in danger.
Some said they were leaving contact websites which charged fees because of cost. Paid-for adverts in swing magazines were also deemed too pricey.
Many who were married or in partnerships and who had children moaned that they could not afford expensive babysitters – a necessity because they could not “swing at home”. Hotels used for the naughty knicker-dropping assignations were also on the ‘No’ list due to cost.
The survey noted: “For some swingers, especially those with kids, having playmates over to the house is not an option.
The hotel room is now an economic black hole of swinging.
Visits to restaurants and nightspots were also deemed “too expensive” for many – particularly for husbands who were expected to wine and dine other men’s wives before bedding them.
Female sex revellers expressed major concerns about the ongoing costs of their ‘ dress-for-sex’ wear, including the frequent replacement of laddered stockings, ‘play’ dresses, expensive and alluring lingerie, and saucy high heels.
The report – ‘ Swinging and The Credit Crunch’ – noted: “The economic crisis need not be sounding the death knell of swinging. But hard times are undoubtedly here, and not in the way we would hope.”
Regular swinger Richie Snaith of Crewe, Cheshire, said: “There has certainly been a downturn in the number of people placing adverts, and some of the clubs are quieter, too.
“It’s a surprise really, as a good gang bang is one of the ways to dispel the gloom of remorseless economic woe.”
COCKY: But George Osborne should heed swingers’ warnings