‘Duck sex’ man says claims are quack­ers

SHOW & TELL

Midweek Sport - - FRONT PAGE -

“Si­mon seems to think he’s some sort of sex god. Per­son­ally I think he’s the spit­ting im­age of Dale Win­ton. “In words that Si­mon would un­der­stand, he’s not good enough. He’s not a bed­room idol, I wouldn’t even give him a score of one.”

Deb­bie went on to ap­pear in stronger boy-girl and girlon-girl pho­to­shoots but has sadly now re­tired from the glamour busi­ness. A MAN de­tained by po­lice for BUM­MING a duck has dis­missed the bizarre claim made by his in-laws, call­ing the ac­cu­sa­tion “slan­der”.

The 50-year-old was held in the Bursa prov­ince, in Tur­key’s Mar­mara re­gion, af­ter com­plaints from fam­ily mem­bers.

They al­leged that he com­mit­ted the sex­ual as­sault dur­ing an overnight stay at their house.

The man’s dad-in-law said he found “feath­ers and blood” in a bed, next to the duck.

And ac­cord­ing to the fa­ther-in-law, the bird was “un­able to walk”.

A news­pa­per ar­ti­cle also claims that the man’s mother-in-law said she found the sus­pect’s bloody shirt by a tree the next morn­ing.

The duck un­der­went sev­eral op­er­a­tions af­ter it was found to have suf­fered dam­age to its in­testines.

And al­though the duck is now said to be re­cov­er­ing well it re­mains in the care of a lo­cal vet.

LOVERS: Comic Jim and ‘rub­bish’ Cow­ell

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