A Guardian-reading white murderer?
DARK times on Coronation Street, where Kirsty appears to be suffering post-natal depression – a terrible condition which affects 10% of new mums.
And 100% of new mums who live in soap operas.
Luckily there was light relief in the blossoming relationship between Beth and Kirk, aka “Berk”.
“Mmmm, you smell better than a pie,” Kirk told Beth, which counts as sexy talk up North. Their idea of a saucy book is 50 Shades Of Gravy.
Then there is Julie blethering on about redecorating the master bedroom. She wants a flock against the wall – but I suspect hubby Brian would put his back out. C4 dating show Baggage is based around suitcases – and is a load of Samsonshite. Remember that last year when decided ITV1’s crime drama
was RACIST for failing to represent all those black and Asian farmers who populate rural Britain?
Well last night’s appeared to be making up for lost time.
Firstly there was a British Indian family, with a hardworking dad who ran a shop and his maths whizz teenage daughter ( right).
Phew! For a minute I was worried they might start dealing in stereotypes.
Then there was a suggestion of illegal aliens in town. Not the ones who cram into lorries at Calais but those who beam down from distant planets. More UFO than HGV. Brown AND green people in the same episode? They were really pushing the multi-cultural boat out.
The plot saw members of the village Astronomy Society bumped off in a variety of cosmic ways – bludgeoned with a meteorite during
episode a solar eclipse, garrotted with a sharpened moondial while star gazing, etc. It was like a snuff movie directed by Patrick Moore.
As usual, there was any number of key suspects, from those little green men to the arrogant observatory boss to the newspaper astrologer who claimed to have predicted the deaths – but she turned out to be talking through Uranus. Even the Indian dad became prime suspect for a while, apparently sent into a murderous rage at discovering his beloved daughter, Gagan, was sexually active. In fact, she’s Gagan for it.
Clearly, that was a red herring.
Pinning a murder rap on the first brown face in town would have been sooooo RACIST, obviously.
In fact the culprit was the least likely murderer of the lot.
It was the liberal and laidback university tutor who cared deeply about education and the environment.
In other words, the murderer was the only bloke in Midsomer who would buy The Guardian.
Ah, revenge is sweet.